Next fixin’ below and the next chapter of 6 Months to Live is ready and waiting… enjoy!
“So Katie as you can see these are our closest friends and family,” Pam said gesturing at the large gathered table of mostly Sookie’s friends and family. Supplemented with as many demographically appropriate sourced children. “It usually isn’t such a large gathering but it is Thanksgiving. Eric and I do enjoy the company of good honest hard working Americans. Isn’t that right honey?”
“Of course dear,” Eric returned with the fakest smile he owned as they continued the charade for the camera. In all honesty he merely tolerated most of the people at the table for Sookie’s sake. Her brother was amusing as was Lafayette but he would surely forget most of the others in a decade or two. “It’s why all our production lines are in the good old U.S. of A.”
Pam continued her practiced political spiel carrying that megawatt smile which instantly fell off her face with the disappearance of the red light above the camera lens. To her credit Pam had vastly improved upon her ‘warm’ personality for the camera since Nan Flanagan had forced her appearance for the AVL promos.
Eric looked longingly across the yard at his beloved Sookie who was forced to re-enact the pouring of the drinks around the table for the third time for the benefit of the camera. The asshole who was sitting in his seat was treated to the patented Eric Northman death glare as she hugged her ‘honey’ for the third time that night. Motherfucker was lucky he was gay and could style Pam’s hair like no other or there would have been no restraint left in the Viking as the hairy paws of Immanuel surrounded Sookie for the fourth time that night.
Eric sighed internally for the nth time that night for agreeing to Pam’s latest schemes but he had to agree she had a point. They resided in a ‘red’ state and while that colour usually had his inner vampire happy with glee in this case it had only caused them problems. The demise of governor Burrell had given them some berth especially when the New Blood money started coming in big and fast. Pam and Eric were invited everywhere as the latest power couple and the media quickly spun them as ‘eternal lovers’. That kept the money coming in even faster as the mortals became fascinated by their ‘love’ story and had them stocking up on a product with a short shelf life that they never drank and replenished regardless for the mere thought that these two might show up for dinner one night. It was all good for business so they never corrected the assumption.
Pam’s run for Governor had them reasserting the image others had created for them. There was no way around it, she had to become an actual ‘Republicunt’ if they were ever to stand a chance at winning the elections and Eric was relegated the role of supportive husband. It was all imperative to their business, whose growth and thus further survival was being waylaid by the current staunch anti-vampire Governor and because of Sookie, Eric had refused to entertain relocating to a more tolerant environment.
Pam knew her maker would happily give it all up to live the rest of his days without a penny to his name with Sookie. He had hated that she sent a glamour squad to erase the memories of their four year relationship to every living thing at the table and the other inhabitants of Bon Temps. Sookie herself had been the one to convince him of the need in the end, she didn’t like being relegated as Eric’s dirty little secret but she too saw the need for the tolerance necessary in the political office.
It was for their own good, Willa had assured Pam of this many times. As was this TV crew. It wouldn’t be long before their plans would unravel assuring her of the governor’s seat. The natural daughter of Republicunts herself knew exactly how to play to the emotional heartstrings of their intended electorate. They had glamoured Immanuel so well he nearly forgot his attraction to men. The two daughters knew their maker well enough to know he wouldn’t last long with the amorous appearance of the ‘happy’ hosting couple.
They shared a perceptive look as they observed their maker’s poor hold on his emotions as the enamoured hairstylist ground his crotch into an uncomfortable looking Sookie as he continued to stroke over her protruding belly. Willa received the approving nod from Pam and quickly gathered the camera crew into another direction and just as they predicted their maker took the opportune moment to steal Sookie away.
Another signal was exchanged when the tell-tale sounds that could only be heard by sensitive vampire ears emerged. Pam directed the crew into the old farmstead as per her and Willa’s scheme. “Character like this really can’t be found anymore,” Pam narrated with faux nostalgia of the to her utterly unimpressive home while her hand moved over the doorknob as she pretended to ignore the grunting sounds that were coming from beyond the door. The observing eye would notice that her well-practiced line of “Oh my God! Eric how could you?” was delivered a few seconds before a proper view of the room was even given. The TV crew however descended on the sight like vultures as they took in the couple mid coitus where Sookie scrambled to cover her bare behind with her upturned dress as an angry Eric tried to evict the camera crew out unsuccessfully as he tripped over the pants still around his ankles as his hands scrambled to cover the camera lens. The sisters exchanged another knowing glance. Everything had gone exactly as planned.
The two progeny sat contentedly in the newly modified Governor’s Mansion in Baton Rouge smoking two fat cigars throwing the recently struck matches into the fireplace as they congratulated each other on a job well done. As predicted the sympathy had fallen in Pam’s favour. There was collective outrage with the betrayal of her former ‘eternal’ love and with that she had won the election with ease. It only further proved to Pam that humans were especially stupid and it only made sense that the more intelligent species be in charge of them now. Her first goal was to outlaw those awful looking Crocs in the state. She shivered in disgust every time she spotted a pair.
“How long do you suppose till we’re forgiven?” Willa asked Pam, as she held more knowledge when it came to Eric’s ire.
She gave a tiny shrug, “Not much longer,” Pam returned while discerning whether she was in need of a new manicure already. “Sookie texted me she’d see me next Tuesday. Although she did spell it with a ‘c’ and just a ‘u’… she’s usually so good with her grammar.”
“He’ll get over it soon enough,” she mused. “Eric’s probably only mad because Sookie’s mad. With the amount of pixels needed to cover his ‘gracious plenty’ he really can’t complain about his latest claim to fame. It was good thinking on your part to make Sookie wear that fake pregnancy belly. Humans are such idiots, they will scorn a woman for everything and anything but when they’re pregnant they’re all saints.”
As soon as the media storm died down Pam knew her maker would be grateful as he was now absolved from his public role and could return to relative anonymity with Sookie running the New Blood business without difficulty. The glamour squad had already lifted the hold on the town’s memories and the media had moved on to the next politician and his airport bathroom relations.
Pam and Willa already had their next political aspirations expertly planned out. The ‘unfortunate’ Immanuel had already agreed to be her next beard as through their tragic mutual betrayal a ‘romance’ between them would emerge and with careful leaks that would guarantee her a seat in the senate. While running for the presidency his preference for men would be revealed and with that victory Pam would finally teach that oval office what sex with a woman was really all about.
“What if they never stop being mad?” Willa probed nervously.
“As soon as we pass the laws allowing marriage and adoption for our kind they’ll remember exactly why we are sitting in this office,” Pam smiled at her sister. “They’ll remember that everything we did and do is for them.”