So the last chapter of FTI hinted at lemons but I tampered your expectations accordingly. There’s definitely a hint of lime there it’s just not what you’re expecting. Some of you have already been proclaiming favourites with the fixin’s so I’ll confess that this one is probably mine so enjoy my latest offerings….
Pam was bored. She was pretty used to that and she hated to admit that since the gash in the sundress had disappeared from their lives that had become their new normal. They were ostentatiously rich but then they had been before that as well. As glad as Pam was to have her maker healthy and relatively alive she couldn’t deny that life was dull. Extremely dull.
After feeding Sarah her dinner and taking her out for a tinkle in the back alley she locked up the basement tight and secure. The familiar sounds of the club thundered away above her as she made her way upstairs. She had to blink several times as she took in the displays of True Blood all around her. Eric was known to joke around on her but it would never be something that could be detrimental to their business. That shit was financial toxic waste in this day and age. She eyed her maker on the throne and he was looking slightly less puffy. Odd.
“Fuck a zombie.” Pam’s eyes went wide with realisation as she saw the Estonian dancer writhing on a pole in front of her maker. “I’ve reverted back to fucking season three. Well at least things still made sense then…”
It didn’t take her long to convince her maker of her miraculous travels in time. The bond between them that had been stolen away from her was back again and the truth of her words couldn’t be denied. They plotted and schemed for most of the night and Pam was near ecstatic with the prospects. Their assassin Ruben was immediately set to task to take out Steve and Sarah Newlin. It was with great reluctance on Pam’s part, she’d miss combing the faux blonde’s hair and taking her out for walks on her pretty pink rhinestone leash and the warmth she would provide her feet at the end of her bed.
While Eric was ready to go and murder Talbot and Russell for the second time he thankfully listened to Pam’s wise words on how well that had turned out. So they went their separate ways, the Viking headed down to New Orleans to dispatch of their Queen with a careful toss of a sharpened wooden die during a game of Yahtzee after which he would contaminate her remains with a potent vial of HEP-V. Pam always carried a couple of spares of those and the antidote on her body, in case one of the clients exceeded their one minute limit with her little pet. A quick injection and the violators were right back to square one minus a hundred thou.
Pam found herself in Jackson, Mississippi, for some unfinished business of her own. Talbot was quite thankful for the Estonian dancer and her uniquely Baltic flavour. Well that’s what Pam had said that unusual tang was. HEP-V had a bit of a caraway seed and herring flavour after all. She was conveniently absent the night that delicacy was served to the distinguished guests that included Bill Compton and that delightful maker of his. No Pam had other things to do that evening as she held her nose while hovering in front of the stinky were’s apartment.
Sookie fucking Stackhouse was sniffling into her pillow over that stupid brooding vampire who had just broken up with her after cheating on her for the second time. Pam let out a heavy sigh for what she was about to do. She had promised her maker to try after all and she forgot how annoying Eric could be when the little fae was still denying access to that twinkle cave between her thighs. So she tapped incessantly on the thin sheet of glass sporting her most annoyed face.
“Pam?” Sookie said in shock as she opened up the window. “You can fly?”
“Well officially not until season six but the idiots in charge have never cared much for consistency either way,” Pam shrugged. “Invite me in.”
“Please come in Pam,” Sookie whispered as she moved to the side, wiping away the last of her tears on the sleeves of her shirt. “Who are the idiots in charge?”
“Trust me you don’t want to know them.”
“Ok,” she said wearily. “What can I do for you Pam?”
“It’s more of a matter of what I can do for you Fairy Princess,” Pam spoke with an uncharacteristic warmth. The female vampire ran her through the facts of what the telepath’s life would be like if she intended to continue on and rescue Bill. At first Sookie didn’t believe a word of it until Pam revealed intimate details of her past that Sookie had never shared with a soul except with an amnesiac version of Eric in the future. A small vial was placed in Sookie’s hands along with a blueprint of the King of Mississippi’s estate indicating the room where Bill Compton was held. “This is the antidote to HEP-V. The choice is yours Sookie Stackhouse by noon tomorrow morning Compton will be goo unless you wish to slip him that vile.”
It wasn’t much effort for Pam to fly in and kill that motherfucker Franklin Mott before he could harm another hair on her Tara’s precious body. They cleaned off the blood stained sheets and Pam held her lost future progeny in her arms as tears of relief flooded from the girl’s system when it became clear that vampire Barbie had come to rescue her.
It didn’t surprise Pam at all to hear and scent Sookie Stackhouse entering the mansion moments after dawn. Or for her to make her way to where Bill rested. Pam carefully let go of a trembling Tara when a soft knock was heard on the door followed by Sookie’s unmistakeable voice.
“So you saved Bill,” Pam accused with judgemental brows when the empty vial was placed in her hands.
“No,” Sookie answered as she moved to hold her best friend’s quivering body in a comforting embrace. “I said my goodbyes after he admitted what he had done. You were right he wanted to die so I let him.”
“So who’d you use the antidote on?”
“Yvetta,” Sookie returned with a small shrug. “It’s no wonder I saved you and your maker’s asses so often in the future. You really thought they wouldn’t trace that back to you. Alcide’s waiting out back with a light tight truck. Are you ready to go?”
Eric slipped out of the authority’s lair in the relative darkness of the early night ready to depart. The codes Pam had given him worked exactly as expected and with ease he had spiked the blood of Lilith with another potent helping of HEP-V. He had tried to reach out to Nora but she was unfortunately already lost to her fanaticism. He had given her a vial of the antidote where his only instructions had been to drink that when she was ready to follow Godric’s path again. It was all he could do for now.
He landed by the red awning of the club, it was a Monday night so the usually glowing red neon lights were turned off as he made his way through the main entrance. Eric scented her before he saw her sitting on his throne in one of his white dress shirts which she had fashioned into a dress. Atop her head sat his father’s crown, in the dim light of the room their eyes locked and with a mischievous grin two fingers beckoned him forward.
“Eric Northman,” she said with a poorly hidden smile.
“How do you know my name?”
Pam emerged beside her on the throne and pointed at her forehead “I never forget a pretty face. You’re in my vault.”
“Great. That’s just great,” Eric said with a wink to Pam before he addressed Sookie. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Well, aren’t you sweet?”
“Not really,” he replied with a debilitating grin.
Sookie turned to Pam and muttered something to her in what was supposed to pass as Swedish.
“Mr Northman, I understand you’ve been asking questions about me.”
“Yes, I have,” he acknowledged.
“If you have anything to ask, you should ask it of me,” Sookie intoned.
“You recognize either one of these?” Eric enquired handing her over two pictures that lay around for approval of next year’s calendar.
“Hmm…” she pointed to the picture of Bill, “well, this one offered himself to me. But I found him too pathetic for my attentions. Now, this one, however…” she continued pointing at the other photograph which featured a scantily clad Eric. “I have tasted.”
“I remember ’em both,” Pam quipped in.
“On account of the vault?” Eric asked with a wide grin.
“Never had either of them, though. They weren’t really my type,” she winked back.
“Well…” Eric started as he grabbed the photos from her hand. “Thank you very much. That is all your time I need to take.”
“I’m not finished with you yet!” Sookie smiled. “Sit with us. We have catching up to do, you and I. It has been too long.”
Eric feigned a tiny look of panic as he glanced to the spot where an undercover cop once stood. “We have to get out of here. There’s about to be a raid.”
“What kind of raid?” Sookie feigned unimpressed.
“A Viking raid,” he said with excited eyes before speeding towards her and throwing Sookie’s cackling body over his shoulder as he reasserted his father’s crown as his own.
With a growl and a squeal the two enamoured blondes were launched into the night sky leaving behind a trail of destruction through the back hallways of Fangtasia and an amused Pam. She decided this was right, and this was best after all. A little excitement never hurt anybody. Well maybe some annoying vamps, but not them.
A bit of life returned to the female vampire’s eyes as she picked up Tara’s sleeping form from the office couch. “No human or vampire can hurt you any longer,” she whispered into her sleeping ears as she tenderly tucked away the small braids of her hair. “Now you and I have a standing date and it’s been a long time coming.”