“Explain,” he grit out, “Why the fuck your husband was jerking me off!”
“Put him down!” Pam snarled, setting her claws into her Maker’s shoulders as she watched Jason gasp desperately for air. Reluctantly, he obliged, Pam instantly moving beside Jason, offering him a glass of water and tenderly running her hands through his hair.
“I want a fucking explanation!” Eric replied tersely.
“You’ll get it,” Pam growled back, “when I give a fuck!”
“Eric?” Sookie whispered, peeking into the bathroom, slapping her hand over her eyes immediately when she saw he was naked.
“Pam, explain!” he demanded once more, wrapping a towel around his waist.
“You two had amnesia,” Niall answered, popping in with Dr. Ludwig by his side.
“Amelia?” Sookie questioned knowingly.
“The very one,” the tiny doctor affirmed. “You know that girl shouldn’t be allowed near magic. Let me look you over, Toots.”
“I can wait,” Sookie replied with a sigh. “Make sure Jason’s okay first.”
“Sookie, I-” Eric tried to apologise when he saw the pain in her eyes over the harm her brother had suffered under another vampire’s hands.
“Just stay away,” she replied, surprisingly calm. “Really, really, far away.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered while exiting the room, not sure whether she had heard him or not as she sped to her brother’s side.
“Eric, you really should stay here for now,” Pam advised when he looked ready to fly out of her home, having found his clothes in the adjoining bedroom.
“Why the FUCK should I do that, Pam? You heard Sookie-”
“Eric, trust me,” she spoke soothingly. “You’ll want Dr. L to examine you. Your stomach-”
“I’m a fucking vampire, my stomach hurts after some witch fucked up on epic scale! I’ll be fucking FINE!”
“Eric, you’re not leaving till Ludwig says you’re fine,” she warned in a tone that made him take notice. When the fuck did Pam become motherly?
His eyes narrowed, knowing the look she sported now could only spell trouble, “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Eric,” she gulped, not quite sure where to direct her gaze. “You’re pregnant.”
“Of course he doesn’t want to talk to me,” Sookie sighed. “I cat-raped him!”
“I’m sure it was nothing like that,” Gran soothed, effectively shutting up Godric in one glance at his attempt to reveal exactly why Eric was unwilling to speak to her and ignoring her in every way possible. They’d had quite the discussion earlier, and Gran had stressed firmly that the only one to reveal to Sookie they were expecting was Eric.
“Jason said-” Sookie whispered, traitorous tears flowing down her cheeks.
“Hush, now,” Gran chided. “It’s nobody’s fault. He’ll talk to you soon enough.”
“Just get yourself some of that throw away lingerie and show up ready and willing in his hidey hole,” Claude shrugged, reaching for another slice of Gran’s pie only to be firmly smacked with the serving spoon.
“Sure!” Sookie exclaimed incredulously. “Because that’s what every rape victim wants! To be traumatised all over again!”
“Fine!” he huffed back, soothing the back of his stinging hand. “Wear clothes then, but the longer you let him hide, the harder it is to reach him.”
“You two do need to talk,” Gran agreed. “Godric?”
“I will talk to him again,” he offered. “It will be up to him when.”
Sookie nodded, dreading the mere thought while at the same time hating that he was avoiding her so adamantly, and getting up in a rush, she announced, “I think I’m going to be sick.”
Two weeks had passed and she’d still yet to receive any reply from Eric. She’d sent flowers only for them to be returned, tried to make an appointment through his secretary only to be told Mr. Northman was ill. Yeah right, like vampires ever got sick! Whenever she asked Godric, all he would offer was that Eric wasn’t ready yet. Angrily she kicked a lone pebble over the pavement, doing little to expel her frustration with the entire situation.
“Stupid rock,” she mumbled to herself when suddenly, she spotted an all too familiar blonde head in the distance. Her heart sank, he didn’t seem depressed or despondent. He was fucking smiling, joking with some sales assistant, a very pretty sales assistant at that. Suddenly, a hand was resting on his, accompanied by a flirtatious smile, and, without thinking, Sookie had rushed into the store, missing the vampire’s disapproving expression while politely warding of the woman’s advances, yelling loudly, “Eric!”
His entire body tensed at the sound of the voice that he’d so desperately been avoiding all this time. “I’ll take this,” he instructed the sales girl, thrusting a wad of cash at her dismissively. He spun on his heels, and guiltily he greeted, “Sookie.”
“Well, it’s nice knowing you still know my name!”
“Can we not do this here?” he requested lowly.
“Shit,” she apologised, catching sight of herself in a mirror, angry and intimidating. Backing up her arms in the air she added, “I’m sorry. I never should’ve- I’m gonna go…”
“Sookie, wait,” Eric said, reaching for her arm to stop her from running off in a mess of tears.
“No, I understand you want nothing to do with me,” she whispered, dragging her sleeve over her face in an attempt to make herself somewhat presentable in this already mortifying experience. “I’m really sorry.”
He sighed deeply, as much as he tried to avoid her she was always there in his mind, which was kind of the problem. “You wanted to talk, so we probably should.”
“Now?” she whispered, terrified and relieved by the possibility at the same time. He nodded, taking the shopping bag from the returned assistant and thanking her politely. He offered out his arm to Sookie who regarded it with confusion before linking her own in his. “Where should we go?”
“Don’t care,” he shrugged. “As long as there’s a bathroom nearby.”
“I want you to feel safe,” she said sternly, remembering all the literature she had consulted. “Maybe you want someone there for you, Godric or Pam?”
He regarded her curiously, “Sookie, what are you on about?”
“You really need me to spell it out for you?” He nodded, his look of confusion remaining unchanged. “I… I assaulted you,” she trembled while he failed to react. “I forced you when we were cats.”
“Jesus Christ,” he cried out when he began to understand what she was trying to say. “You think you raped me?”
“Don’t try to talk this right!” she replied hotly. “What I did was wrong! It should never have happened! I’ll regret it every single day for the rest of my life!”
“Sookie,” Eric warned, trying to temper her hysterics by clasping onto her shoulders. “I can’t remember much of our feline adventures or much else for that matter, but I’m pretty sure that didn’t happen. And even if it did, we were fucking cats! It wasn’t you!”
Sookie gasped loudly, “You really think that?” she asked disbelievingly. “You shouldn’t rationalise your trauma! It’s not healthy, and now I’m only adding to it by confronting you like this! I’m a terrible person-”
“Sookie, will you stop!” he demanded. “What is it going to take to convince you that you didn’t fucking rape me?”
“I don’t know… Memories would be nice.”
“I hear you,” he agreed. “We’re just going to have to accept that whatever happened, happened. And know this, Sookie Stackhouse, I’d never say ‘no’ to you, whatever shape or form you came in.”
“Oh,” she replied, somewhat surprised by that revelation. “Wait, why have you been avoiding me then?”
“I thought we decided to talk later,” he replied carefully. “Maybe in a week or so?”
“No! Tell me now!”
“I don’t owe you a thing,” he warned. “Just for that I’m not telling you at all!”
Stomping her feet, Sookie demanded, “Why the hell not?”
“Because I’m fucking pregnant,” he grumbled under his breath, spinning on his heels, and walking away from her.
“What do you mean pregnant?” Sookie cried out after him in a panic, having only heard the last part of the sentence. “I can’t be pregnant! I’d know if I was pregnant!” Eric continued to ignore her, pacing down the sidewalk in determination. Popping up in front of him, she demanded hotly, “AND why would you ignore me if you’d thought I was pregnant?”
“Not you,” he seethed.
“You knocked someone else up?” she demanded, the jealousy of that particular revelation difficult to hide anywhere on her angered face. “How the hell did that happen?”
“ME! You idiot, I’m fucking pregnant!”
“Haha! Stop playing,” she huffed angrily, hands firmly on her hips. “Spit it out!”
He pulled her aside, away from the pedestrians that continued to give curious glances at the standstill in the middle of the sidewalk. “I’m telling the fucking truth,” he spoke lowly. “Probably.”
“It’s not like I can take a test without urine, now can I? Can’t remember the last time I had a period either.”
“Well, why do you think you’re pregnant?” she asked in confusion, barely managing to wrap her head around the possibility.
“She has an ear for it, was even a midwife for a while,” he replied, omitting the sudden onset of sore nipples and night time nausea, and then offering in explanation, “Pam and pussies are a no brainer. Also, she heard us, many times. Ludwig thinks it’s possible, but can’t say for certain. It might just be indigestion, or I might just be in the early stages of pregnancy for the rest of eternity. We’re in unchartered territories here.”
“Oh,” Sookie stammered, blushing furiously at the thought of her feline alter ego. “Is it mine?”
“Well, unless some other cat had his way with me, yeah, probably. Pam said you were very protective of me.”
“And you didn’t think it was important to tell me?” she cried out, swatting his arm hard before realising that probably wasn’t a nice thing to do to a pregnant man, vampire, whatever. “Were you just hoping to get rid of it and think I’d never find out? I can’t believe what I’m hearing!”
“Calm the fuck down, will you?” Eric growled. “I was going to tell you when I knew for certain. Pam isn’t exactly a match for science, magic induced or otherwise.”
“And if you are?” she asked nervously.
“I don’t know,” he confessed. “You can’t expect me to be carry kittens for nine months, can you?”
“But they’re our kittens!”
“Sookie,” he sighed with a shake of his head. “You can’t be serious?”
“If I fathered those things, I should at least have a say!”
“Tough! It’s the 21st Century,” he grit out. “My body, my choice.”
A loud gasp escaped her, thoroughly annoyed how right he was, even though it was working against her. “Will you let me be there at least?” she whispered sadly to her feet. “I don’t want you going through this all alone.”
A small smile emerged, his hand cupping her cheek so he could see her eyes again, “I haven’t decided a thing yet, if there’s anything to decide at all. It’s just-”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Speaking of…”
“I’m not confusing,” she denied with a smile against his hand, ignoring the rather unmanly snort that escaped him. “Hey, I was heading to Gran’s for dinner. Want to come along?”
Eric actually quite liked the thought of that, until realisation hit, becoming nauseous as he asked, “Will there be food?”
“Yeah, lots,” she answered with a scrunch to her face. “So, will you come?”
He regretted even asking the question, his stomach already churning at the mere thought of the expansive spread Adele Stackhouse would undoubtedly set out. He needed a toilet, and fast.
“Eric!” Sookie yelled after him, startled by his sudden speeding away from her with what she thought was his hand covering his mouth. Angrily she kicked at a wall before reluctantly popping herself to Gran’s.
“What’s got you looking so glum, pussycat?” Pam purred when she spotted Sookie sulking at the table.
“Let her be, Pamela,” Godric warned, rubbing Sookie’s back in support.
Pam did nothing of the sort, scooting in awfully close and playing with the locks of her hair. “Cat’s out of the bag, then?” she sniggered.
“Pam,” Sookie whispered in a hiss. Gesturing at the large gathering of people, she explained, “Not here, okay?”
“We already know,” Claude shrugged, miming a pregnant belly in demonstration.
“All of you?” Sookie stammered, receiving only a few guilty looks, and the rest merely shrugged as if it were no big deal.
“You know how Supernaturals gossip,” Claudine offered consolingly.
Angrily she jumped out of her seat, staring the entire table down while ignoring Gran’s reprimanding stare, “None of you thought to tell me? How could you!”
Pam yanked her back down, the speed of which dizzied her slightly, “Cool your tits, Stackhouse,” she growled, adding thoughtfully, “Or rather, allow me.”
“It wasn’t anyone’s business here to tell,” Adele spoke sternly, ending all further protestations.
“You know,” Pam hinted in a nonchalant tone that was anything but, “You should really consider making an honest man out of my Maker. Quick.” It would certainly solve Pam’s problems, quick.
Sookie stared at her in disbelief, “What?”
“If you get on it now, no one would ever know those bastards were conceived out of wedlock,” she replied matter of fact. “It’s simply the right thing to do, Sookie.”
“Yeah,” Jason added, motivated by a prompt kick below the table from his wife. “It’s the family way, or somethin’.”
Sookie became rather disconcerted when both Gran and Godric nodded along in agreement. “Boo!” Claude cried out in protest. “Don’t listen to the old fogies!”
“You’re so lucky you’re gay,” Claudine said towards her brother in a reprimanding tone. “You’d make for a terrible father. I can just imagine a whole string of unacknowledged children with a giant ego.”
“I can still adopt,” he shrugged with a malicious glint to his eyes. “I can adopt Eric and Sookie’s kittens!”
“My babies,” Sookie growled out in annoyance, the wooden seat under her shrieking against the floor with the violence at which she thrust it backwards this time, and leaning over the table, she warned Claude, “You stay away from them!”
“I stand corrected,” Claude grinned. “Marry the vampire then. Wait, you already did!”
“What?” Sookie stammered in confusion while Claude giggled in delight.
“Shut up, shut up, shut up,” Pam warned lowly. Sookie’s eyes narrowed on the vampiress beside her instantly, demanding confirmation, though the guilty look from her brother spoke volumes, and weakly Pam offered, “Surprise!”
It turned out Pam was the surprised one in the end, the words of warning that she was going to be sick never made it out of Sookie’s mouth this time, instead the entire content of her stomach splattered all over the vampiress’ brand new outfit from Chanel. In horror, all Pam could do was stare at the destruction of the expensive fabric, ruined for eternity. With a low warning tone, her gaze firmly attached to the source of Sookie bodily upset, the vampiress taunted, “I hope you get really, really, fat!”
A/N: Thanks to msbuffy. I’ll leave you all to speculate…