Prologue – I do

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A/N: Inspiration strikes in the strangest places and for this it was a TV documentary/reality show called, “Married at First Sight” (I watched the UK version, I know there’s a US version too, but it’s originally a Danish format though I have no idea how varied they are from one to the next, me and my rosy Eurotrashy (sun)glasses are assuming the US version ups the drama a bit for added effect unnecessarily with lots of exciting commercial breaks in between… those who’ve seen it will just have to let me know).

 

Anyhow, in it, a gathered group of experts use ‘science’ (and I use the term loosely since it appeared that beyond a bit of measuring that compared ratios, it seemed mostly reliant on social sciences as evidentiary base) to match up individuals whom they felt would ‘fit’ and could, therefore; in theory marry each other, sight unseen, and have a successful arranged marriage. They are married without meeting until they say ‘I do’ and are followed for five weeks at which point it is evaluated whether or not they will stay together. 

 

Personally I had some issues with their methods (a high emphasis on matching highly similar qualities rather than complimentary, an ever-present camera crew chronicling it all in an already awkward time, one expert was a cleric and his accreditation for being an expert was as follows “I married over a 150 couples.” etc., etc.). Regardless, it was an interesting watch and the ‘what if’ tingles in my Supernatural Wonderland started to surface along with some new insights to produce this little tale.

 

It’s kind of revealed in the first few sentences, but you’ll never guess who’s getting married… Oh, and a forewarning! The title is very misleading 🙂 Also, I’ve always found Adele’s character to be rather schizophrenic to suit CH’s plot whims so I’ve sort of gone with the ‘liberal’ version of her as she was originally portrayed and fleshed that out a little, but that makes her very OOC in this.

 


 

“What do you mean you’re getting married? To whom?”

 

Sookie heard a rustle of papers over the phone before finally getting a response through a myriad of smacking noises and whoops, “Pa-mela Swinefort de Bo-bo…”

 

“JASON CORBETT STACKHOUSE, you are not marrying some girl whose name you can’t even pronounce!”

 

“Here’s the best part, Sook! We haven’t even met!” he crowed triumphantly. Sookie could only roll her eyes at the thought of her idiot brother who would find that an appealing perspective. Uncharacteristically he hummed thoughtfully before adding, “I’ve been assured she’s hot as hell though.”

 

“Jason!”

 

“I’ve made up my mind, Sis!” he replied in a tone that she knew to be unwavering. “Now you can either come out here to celebrate with us or not. I’m doing this either way.”

 

“Jason, this is insane!”

 

“Limo will be there in a few, make sure to tell Gran and GG!”

 

“JASON!” she cried out again, but was only met by the very rude dial tone. “The nerve of that boy!” she fumed while stomping the on the porch plank with a little too much force considering their state of disrepair.

 

“Baby girl? Everything alright?”

 

“Gran!” she gasped, looking about as guilty as a child with her hand caught in a cookie jar. With panting breath she clutched the phone to her chest. “Gran, you better sit down.”

 

“Jason’s getting married?” she beamed when Sookie had carefully regaled all the details of the reality-TV show Jason had signed up for that had promised him a custom-made bride to suit his every need by a panel of experts. He’d initially gone along for Hoyt’s sake, but in the end he had been the one with a ‘perfect match’.

 

“To someone he never met!” Sookie exclaimed, eyes wide with disbelief over her grandmother’s apparent excitement with the sudden news. She continued to smile gently while Sookie feared her jaw was going to literally fall to floor. “For a reality TV show!”

 

“Sookie dear, it doesn’t matter how a man finds a woman, just that he finds one.”

 

“Gran! How could you say that?”

 

“Sookie, not everyone gets to marry for love, arranged marriages were quite the norm back in my day. You think your grandfather and I knew what we were getting into when we were first wed? We thought we knew everything, turns out we didn’t.”

 

“Gran, stop, please,” she groaned with the physical assault of her grandmother’s memories of her fumbling wedding night.

 

Adele chuckled, sensing what she had inadvertently projected to her granddaughter, “Marriage is a process, Sookie, and no one really knows what they’re doing. They’re probably better off because they’ll be forced to consider each other, every step of the way rather than relying on past comforts and letting overtures cloud the rational.”

 

“I can’t believe you’re in support of this,” Sookie said with a shake of her head.

 

“How exciting, a wedding! I’ll get started packing our bags,” she smiled before patting her granddaughter on the shoulder. “Better close that mouth of yours, don’t want to be catching flies now, you hear?”

 

“Yes, Ma’am,” she whispered before exhaling deeply, finding herself alone on the porch again.

 

Her brother was getting married. Married! He couldn’t even manage to stray from one girl to the next without meeting a third on the way! The thought was so preposterous that she didn’t know whether to burst in tears or laugh hysterically. Knowing her, it would most likely be an awkward combination of the two at the most inopportune of times.

 

“Great-granddaddy!” she sobbed when he suddenly appeared before her, sensing her distress, accosting the otherwise unscrupulous man with vigour. “Jason’s getting married!” Sookie cried out, not even feeling guilty for staining his impeccable white suit with her tears.

 

“We’ll find you a suitor soon enough,” Niall soothed. “Don’t worry, my dear granddaughter, he probably won’t even make it down the aisle before he finds a new behind to sniff,” he chuckled. “You’ll definitely marry first.”

 

“This isn’t about me!” she exclaimed with frustration all over her face. “He’s made up his mind, they’re getting married tomorrow!”

 

“Without consulting me!” he said thoroughly aghast. “I am the head of this family. Who is he marrying?”

 

A small twinkle of hope emerged in Sookie’s eyes at the thought of an ally who would prevent Jason from the biggest mistake of his life. She breathed out with a modicum of relief before vaguely recalling the name, “Pamela Bo de Swin or something?”

 

“Pamela Swynford de Beaufort?” her great-grandfather queried with a little too much excitement.

 

“Yeah, sounds about right.”

 

“No worries, great-granddaughter mine,” he grinned. “I will see to it all is well. Her Maker and I will have ourselves a little chat.”

 

“Maker?!” she cried out in shock. Her great-grandfather, however, had seemed to take a cue from her brother as he merely shrugged before popping away and announcing, “See you at the wedding!”

 


 

 

“Pamela,” her Maker growled down at the phone. “Explain yourself!”

 

“Are we going to do this every month?” she drawled out, bored with the conversation already. “I didn’t shop that much.”

 

“This isn’t about the credit cards! You’re getting married?!”

 

“Oh yes,” she mused. “I almost forgot. Did you want to be there?”

 

“Be there?” he fumed. “Do you have any idea whom you will NOT be marrying?”

 

“Actually, no,” she smiled while wiggling her newly painted toes and sending away the pedicurist with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Jason something or the other. I thought it would be fun. Always wanted a wedding.”

 

A string of expletives were launched into her ears while she merely shrugged and handed off the phone to one of her procured bridesmaids as she focused on how to wear her hair the next night. She beckoned the girl to return while making a mental note that she definitely would be eating her first tonight when her Maker suddenly alternated his indignant cries over the phone to her with that annoying Maker’s call she couldn’t ignore. That shit hurt like a bitch and not in the good way.

 

“Yes,” she answered with all the feigned innocence she never possessed.

 

“You are marrying a FUCKING Brigant!”

 

“No, I’m not.”

 

“A Jason Stackhouse,” he said pointedly.

 

“Mmmm,” she mused. “Sounds about right.”

 

A growl of exasperation travelled down the phone line once more and with a mere wrinkle of her nose, the bridesmaid was quick to remove the phone away from the bride-to-be’s delicate ears again. She was so getting eaten tonight. “Jason FUCKING Stackhouse is Niall Brigant’s great-grandson.”

 

“I’m marrying a Faery Prince?!” she screamed out with joy, clamouring for the phone again.

 

“Pam, you are ending this now!” her Maker warned. “The dowry alone is extortionate. No one wants this.”

 

“I do!”

 

“PAMELA!”

 

“I do, I do,” Pam cried out in glee, turning in circles in the opulent room as she did. “Oh Eric, a thousand times I do!”

 

“PAMELA!” Even he was getting tired of the accompanying growls that now seemed permanently attached to her name. “You don’t even like men!”

 

“Yes, well,” she sighed. “That bothered me too, but it’s too much effort glamouring an entire government body to make that legal. Unless you’d like to take that task? Besides, I’ve been told no one has sex in a marriage anyway, although with the promise of a bit of faery nip…”

 

“Pamela,” he breathed out while contemplating what exactly he’d have to kill tonight to unleash the amount of frustration harboured over these sudden proceedings. “You do NOT fuck with the Brigants. Call it off!”

 

“Ehm,” she spoke with a saccharine tone that he knew to be the fakest of all he’d ever encountered in his many centuries. “How about, no.”

 

“PAMELA!”

 

“See you at the wedding!” she smiled before one of her minions expertly disconnected the line and disposed of the phone.

>

 


A/N: So are we liking this?

Much thanks to msbuffy my ever faithful confidant and polisher of words 😉

73 thoughts on “Prologue – I do

  1. Both have much in common and much to share. They both like women (many at the time, if possible, even if they are serial monogamous). They both like to get high on blood (vampire blood for him, fairy blood for her). They both love to ignore each other and be the center of the universe.

    Yes, they are a match made in heaven.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. So good. I’m gonna love this story. Princess Pam and the pretty pervert may very we’ll be the perfect couple. Can’t wait for the wedding. On reality tv. So much fun to be had.
    Blessings

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Love love love love this!!! Sounds like one of those black and white comedies from the 40s a-la-Hepburn&Tracy…. Some romance, meddling families, loads of shenanigans overall… in short, a must-read!

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Oh god! That was hysterical! lmfao
    Cannot wait to read more, especially when Eric and Sookie meet for the first time! What a fantastic idea you and your Muse came up with!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nah my muse is an evil little trickster that needs to stop watching weird TV shows… she needs to go do something more high brow soon or my brain might deteriorate further…

      Heh… well when Eric meets Sookie… it’ll be interesting to say the least…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I promise on my oath as a former whatever the hell I once swore an oath to be to not reveal a word of it to anyone, not even you if no matter how much you beg!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I’d say something about Bill Cosby right now… but that’s no longer very PC…

      Evil is my middle name… don’t wear it out … more soon-ish!

      Like

    1. I can’t stand writing and posting… makes me feel obligated to write for a certain story when I don’t always feel like it, if I have stuff banked my mind is at ease and if other stuff gets prioritised I don’t feel any guilt. It works for me, probably not for everyone.

      Heh… Pam’s involved in a wedding… that can only spell trouble…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m a people pleaser so I always feel obligated, lol. I had most of my first fic banked and after a chapter or two my readers began begging for more chapters and I didn’t have the will to tell them no. I wound up posting everything I had in just a couple of weeks. I’m hopeless 😏

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I just read it😊 oh… I smell trouble brewing😊 – Especially when Jason finds out that his wife to be, prefers women over men*haha*
    – but you caught my attention… Again!😊
    About the reality show😊
    Yes it is a danish concept. And they just begun to air the third season here.
    The couples are being matched based on questionaires, sessions with a paychologist, a priest, & an astrologist.
    They all get married in the beginning but in the end, all the couples – pretty much – ends up asking the priest for a divorce. Last season though there was a couple who decided to remain married, but they later filed for a divorce and are now living seperate lives with new partners, jobs, and friends.
    – and even though the danish media is commenting on each episode, I haven’t watched any season…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Of course there’s trouble! Pam and Jason are involved… I doubt Jason will object to Pam’s preference for women, it’s at lead one thing they have in common 😀

      The Danish version sounds about the same as the UK one, I’m still scratching my head at the priest. The UK version wasn’t all that successful either, one couple never even made it down the aisle… we’ll just have to wait and see how it pans out for Pam and Jason…

      Like

  6. This is all kinds of awesome. I am still laughing. This was so good. I love that it is supernatural. Totally didn’t expect it would be Pam and Jason. This is perfect. I like that Naill is in the picture . I about died when he said, I will call her maker. It will be funny if Jason is head over heels for Pam at first sight . I can’t wait for E/S to meet. Serious I’m so excited about this story !!!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Always good to hear laughter and excitement 😀 In a ridiculous way Pam and Jason are kinda two peas in a pod… Just wait till Eric and Sookie meet… sparks will fly… literally…

      Liked by 1 person

  7. OMG! This looks like it will be so interesting! I wonder if Eric and Sookie fall in love while trying to talk sense in to Pam and Jason! I wonder what Niall will say to Eric about this! This is so much fun!

    Liked by 2 people

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