Godric’s come for an impromptu visit and it’s enlightening… as is the aftermath of last week’s events, check out chapter 14 here… Next Fixin’ is below…
I have mentioned before that trawling comments sections gives me plenty of ammunition and I figured I’d share the one I found here with this fixin’… you see I tend to tune out whenever there’s B/S dialogue which meant despite my memory that is akin to an elephants I completely missed this gem… and I definitely needed to rectify that tomb stone inscription 🙂 but like the disco ending, my typing fingers had the sneaky wiles to transform this into something else because of the geography…
“Pamela just find the damn jar already!” Eric growled out impatiently.
“I’m looking alright!” she snapped back. “Fucking Ginger, leaving me to deal with this mess.”
“Where did she go?” Eric asked as it was the first time he realised that the eternal piece of chewed out gum to his shoe seemed to be missing that night.
“She left a note,” Pam returned dismissively. “Something about leaving on a high note and becoming a lumberjack. Here.” She thrust the elaborate crystal jar into his waiting hands.
“Finally,” he grumbled out. “All the arrangements are set?”
“Yes, Master,” Pam returned sardonically with a roll of her eyes but by the time they settled back to their normal stance he had already disappeared from view.
“You’re here quick,” Sookie noted as she threw open the door only just freshly showered from the remnants of Bill goo. “Thanks for coming. Please come in.”
“I got your messages,” he said while handing over the jar that once held Talbot’s remains to which Bill had now been carefully tipped into. “I just don’t understand why you wish to take ‘Bill’ to Dallas.”
“Bill never got to go to Six Flags,” she spoke casually over her shoulder as he followed her into the house. “Hoyt and Jessica liked the idea of going back there for their honeymoon, it all started there for them. It just made sense in the moment. Have you been?”
“Pam made me go once,” Eric acknowledged of the theme park. “There was an eatery called Pink Things she wanted to go to, so we ended up dining there.”
“You don’t eat,” Sookie said in confusion before it dawned on her what dining meant to him. “Oh.”
Pam had been impeccable with her arrangements and it made Eric wonder why he had allowed her to delegate everything to Ginger all these years and he sent a little prayer to the poor bearded lumberjacks who were now stuck with her. Hoyt and Jessica were ecstatic in their discovery of the park and its rides, though Sookie clearly remembered Hoyt’s presence the one time she had visited Six Flags. Jessica’s glamour had apparently eradicated that memory too, most likely since it was so intrinsically linked to Jason. She didn’t give it much thought as she didn’t feel like begrudging them a whole host of firsts.
Like Bill, Jessica had never got to go to the famous theme park and was insistent on riding all the rides with childish glee. Eric reluctantly paid for all the morbid photos of the three of them clutching onto the Jar-o-Bill with giant smiles as he sat out most of the rides. For a vampire who could fly at dazzling speeds there was little thrill in such things. Added to that there was much to contemplate with his newfound lease on life.
Sookie too had to admit that since Eric had taken her for that short flight in Bon Temps there was little fun to be had here. In comparison to her teenage memories she found little joy of what once was there. She left the newlyweds to seek out Eric instead when they insisted on repeating the latest ride.
“Hey,” she greeted softly before sitting beside him on the lonely bench he had been occupying with his thoughts.
“Not really,” she confessed to which he remained silent and merely observed her with a sideways glance. “Just different when you come somewhere for the second time round.”
“I know what you mean,” he returned with a small sigh which made her look at the company beside her more closely. It revealed the face of a man who once knelt on a rooftop not too far away from where they were sitting now.
“Eric, I didn’t think,” Sookie gasped with realisation as she reached for his hand, offering the same comfort she had in the moments before his maker met his end. “I’m so sorry. My god, I even demanded we stayed at the same hotel. I’m a horrible person.”
“You’re not,” Eric offered knowingly as he ran his free hand soothingly over her cheek. “You’re just grieving. Makes you forget the people around you sometimes.”
“No,” she whispered. “I’ve been weighed down by guilt. I thought coming here would make things right. Fix things somehow.”
“Take a bit of advice from an old man Sookie,” Eric smirked as she scooted herself closer to him. “Only by becoming a maker can you personally circumvent the certainty of death. For the rest we just have to lay back and sit out the ride. It’s not always up to us. People you love leave.”
“I don’t know if I can accept that,” she sniffed as a treacherous tear travelled down her face. “He didn’t have to leave, I did everything in my power to make him stay. I did things with him I vowed never to do again. I slept with him. All in a plea to keep him here.” Eric’s brow quirked slightly with that, though it merely confirmed an assumption but the disgust in her voice put their renewed relations in a new light to him. “I stopped being me for him. I nearly gave up everything that made me who I am for him. I couldn’t deal with the thought of losing one more. I’m just so sick of everyone dying.”
Eric continued his silence and merely wiped away at the tears before they were given a chance to fall. “It’s what you did for me isn’t it?” she suddenly said while observing the care in his eyes when the quiet lasted too long. “You stopped being you for me, doing everything to keep me safe. And in the end you laid back and sat out the ride. Why?”
“I hope I would,” he recited from a long lost memory which had them as physically close as they were now. “I I hope I will. ‘Cause that day’s gonna come, and I wanna be still feeling this, now. I want to so, so bad.”
“You held out for hope?”
“Hope’s a bitch,” he acknowledged regretfully. “I wanted to keep on feeling what I felt then. What you felt for me. What I feel whenever you’re around. Even when you don’t. I’m sorry I’m not ready to let go.”
“By Bill’s logic the noble thing to do right now, would be for me to kill myself,” she said with a small sigh as the strain that held her tense shoulders fell.
“It’s a good thing I never fell in love with Bill then,” he jested which finally allowed her to crack a smile.
“I thought you two had a bit of a fling at the authority,” she joked back.
“The closest we came was fooling around in the trunk of a car before our impending deaths,” Eric smirked. “It was a very brief bromance that I desperately wish to forget.”
“Seems all of Bill’s relationships were short lived,” Sookie noted more seriously. “Ours too for that matter.” He simply nodded in agreement as their hands intertwined with the thought of that loss.
“Want to go for a ride?”
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. With you,” she said alluding to a different kind of ride than he was initially offering, her hand, however, remained unwilling to let go of his when he tried to break the intimate connection in accordance with her statement. “But I’ll take a tour of the night sky.”
“What about Jessica and Hoyt?”
“They’re still blinded by newfound love,” she shrugged. “Won’t even notice that we’re gone.”
A secluded spot was found where Eric proceeded to pick her up bridal style and launched them into the night sky. It was a more impressive sight than Bon Temps due to the sheer amount of lights in the metropolitan area. When dawn neared a familiar rooftop greeted them while descending down.
“You know I wasn’t ready to let go either,” Sookie offered to the stoically silent vampire next to her who looked down at her curiously, temporarily removing his gaze from the ledge where Godric last stood. “I could let go of my Gran, Alcide and even Bill. But I couldn’t let go of my light. You know why?”
“Why?” he repeated softly.
“You made me see there was more to me,” she explained. “A side of me left completely unexplored.”
“Fairy Sookie,” he acknowledged. “I like her.”
“Me too,” she agreed. “I believe you once said she has a warrior’s heart.”
“That’s all of you. You gave comfort to a wounded man you barely knew more than once,” Eric voiced with a slight strain. “Your compassion is your greatest gift. My maker would not have found joy in the end if it weren’t for you. Peace. I don’t know what his death looked like but I felt it. I felt your presence in him and he was happy in passing.”
“I wanted to go to you after, offer you word of comfort,” Sookie admitted after explaining the beauty of Godric’s death. It made her realise in what stark contrast it stood to Bill’s demise. One fell to darkness while the other found light. “I even dreamt about it. I blamed your blood at the time but now I think it was merely my subconscious.”
“Guilt,” he said in recognition. “Still feel it for Bill?”
“No,” she exhaled with a slight sense of relief. “He wasn’t like Godric. Your maker was selfless, wanted better for this world. I can’t agree with him that it’s better without him, but to him it is. Somehow I can respect that. Godric knew what he was, a creature of darkness and he took the accountability. Bill wanted to be human again. He thought he could find it through me but instead a disease granted him that. Not me, he was selfish with his refusal of the cure. It returned him to mortality. That’s what he was seeking all along.”
Sookie nodded as her hand squeezed his cool one as it had yet to leave the initial grasp of earlier that night. “Is that what you feel around me?” she asked with a hint of insecurity. “A chance at redemption, the path to your end? What you are unable to let go.”
“No,” he answered firmly while staring her down intently. “I told you what I wanted once before.”
“Everything,” she paraphrased reminding herself of the arrogant and presumptuous Eric she met shortly after her return from Faery.
“No,” he repeated sternly, reminding her of the plea from the man without his memories. “Forever.”
“There’s no such thing as forever. Everything ends.”
“I can’t accept that.”
Before she could protest that claim his mouth was pressing on hers, waiting for her to speak or reciprocate. Demanding a definitive decision from her. Hesitation hung heavy between them before her body moulded into his as Sookie decided she wasn’t one to accept that either. Never would, never could. They were the lone survivors that stuck out the fight when everyone else abandoned the battlefield. Warriors by hand and by heart. The ones that never could say goodbye, fighting till the end. Only in a moment of defeat by an equal foe would death come, in standing on that rooftop together they recognised that unparalleled adversary in the other. She finally understood what he meant. Everything. Forever.
One set of lips explored the feel of the other, hands finally let go of each other in respite to rediscover a once familiar body to deepen an ignited kiss. Cupping, caressing and simply holding for fear that this might be taken from them again. Only the warning of an encroaching sun forced them apart along with a gasp for breath.
This time instead of staying behind to watch the sun rise she followed him down the set of metal stairs. He hesitated slightly in front of his hotel room door, not quite sure whether she would follow him in. In attempt to stall possible rejection he asked, “What were you planning to say to me in comfort when my maker passed?”
Sookie rested her hand atop his cautious one over the engaged doorknob that merely needed a push to allow entrance into the room. She gave a nudge that had them both moving over the threshold while her gaze looked upon his vulnerable one as she offered, “Sometimes an end is merely a beginning.”
A/N: There was a little reference to Dexter’s season finale in so bonus points if you caught that 🙂