Chapter 5 – Pity Party (aka Life in the Dreamhouse)



From Time Immemorial Reference Page





Bless Sookie Stackhouse and her weird idea of a party. Had we not gone out last night I would have been caught in an explosion. As a Sanguine we can withstand a lot and even if I had survived such an assault it would have taken me months to be at full strength. Disadvantaged is something I can’t afford to be in these newly turbulent times. My ruined custom Zanotti’s were the least of my concerns now.


While the two star struck lovers were busy playing house, the rest of us were dealing with the situation at hand. Every fucking Sanguine household had to have their say. I hated the roll call. The philosophy of our house never changed. Honestly, if I were to sire an impure blood I would stake it myself, but it was a choice I wanted to be my own, not one that our familial line demanded of us. I didn’t think the lives of the impure were worth living.


We Sanguine move with the times, are considered progressive but the Impurus are stuck. Lost to time and darkness. I see the damage inflicted by the impure blooded in my territory every day. Genocide wasn’t my idea of a solution but things were coming to a head and our house’s continued exclusive procreation stance was bringing trouble to my otherwise stable queendom. The great reveal was for our sakes not for theirs and I was being presented with the bill now.


Thank goodness for Godric’s presence, there’s only so much political bullshit I can digest on my own. Godric and I weren’t supposed to ever get along. My maker sent me to him because I was in a petulant and self-indulgent stage of my unlife. According to Sookie I’m still stuck in that setting. Godric will attest I was far worse back then.


I was amused when Godric had suddenly appeared unannounced on the eve of a soirée. He was never one to show up without cause and at the sight of Sookie he asked to be introduced. I laughed at him and told him many had tried and failed, including myself. Eric Northman in his assumed death was my personal cockblocker and as magnificent as Godric is I doubted even he could win her over with his modest charm.


Godric worried me when he said he just wanted to know her platonically. While he was made for this existence, just as I, time travelled differently through him. He wasn’t the brooding type but he dabbled with depression. His lack of interest in my alluring friend had me concerned for his mental health once more. I had vowed to speak to him of it later that night and despite his lack of sexual interest in Sookie his mood had overturned miraculously in her presence.


I wasn’t surprised at that. Sookie has an inner charm and charisma that outshines her natural poise. She isn’t a conventional beauty, she’s slightly off. Her features are graceful and her smile is radiant, the gap in between her teeth should detract from her appeal but instead it enhances it.  As soon as you find perfection you realise how boring it is when confronted with it over and over again. No, true beauty is found in the small imperfections that distinguish one from the herd.


I thought that like any supernatural with a fondness for the female eye Godric had fallen under Sookie’s spell. He called me up more often to ask about her than of me. It wasn’t till he showed up with my personal tormentor in the flesh that I understood. The obsession over love lost went two ways. A decade apart and Barbie and Ken were still only concerned with what could have been. I cringed at the thought that made me Skipper in this scenario of Life in the Dreamhouse.


I had stood witness to patience, to diligence, but none like theirs. With Sookie I had tried valiantly to help her move on, first in my own selfish pursuits later for her own. I never chased an unwilling woman for long but with Sookie I did and in the process we became friends. I never had a friend before, at least not one like Sookie. All she ever demanded of me was my friendship, nothing else. Our relationship was more pure than any that I have known, including the one with my maker. With that realisation I couldn’t care anymore that she would never sleep beside me in bed. As far as I was concerned I had the best of both worlds, an intimate and gratifying relation with one and carnal pleasures with a whole host of others.


I had missed Sookie dearly after Eric’s return. Her absence made me realise what a huge part of my existence she filled with her mere presence. I was ready to bite the bitch Nan Flanagan’s head off for her annoying edict. It had allowed me to get to know Eric instead. He was still a fledgling as a Sanguine but he was extremely impressive regardless of his age. I finally understood why Sookie had latched on to his memory for so long. He had honour ingrained into him. It was why he was so well suited with Godric.


Sookie has yet to explain properly why she continued to carry a torch for him for so long. When I had asked it of her in the past, all she could come up with was that he thought such nice things about her. That all sounded very ‘nice’ and ‘vanilla’ but it hardly spoke of great passion simmering beneath the surface. Yet when they stood in a room together it was there, ready and waiting to unleash itself.


They would never have been able to work out had Eric remained human, as nice as his thoughts were, he disappeared before he could think a bad one of her. Despite how much you love someone a nasty thought will inevitably surface. Sookie had also shared with me that a human’s touch was especially assaulting on her mind, so as meant to be as they were back then, it was the transformation and time apart that allowed for it to be able to happen now. The circumstances in which, were of course as difficult as their beginnings. It was clear that nothing would ever be easy for them but I knew from experience that something as special between those two always carried a cost.


I had peered into the room once or twice to distract my mind from the incessant voices wanting to be heard all around the world. The two of them were sickeningly sweet. Somehow Eric managed to get past her natural guarded demeanour, something that had taken me months to accomplish. I wasn’t above helping him get things moving along. I regarded him as my brother and the two of them treading waters so carefully was worthy entertainment of distraction from the cesspit that is vampire affairs.


It would be a few more hours before a contingent from the Guard of Anûšiya would arrive to enforce the martial law in my area. The number of Impurus in my area were large because I was known for treating them fairly. It was why it stung to be such a target. Granted there were other Royal Courts that raised members from the Impurus to coveted ranks, I always considered them but I had yet to come across one that fit the post. I refused to simply place one in a position for mere appearances.


I remember with disgust how Sookie’s former neighbour had solicited for a job as my procurer, a station that did not exist in my court. He even went so far as to say he was already courting a rare creature for my delight. I never had a need for a procurer and while I fully acknowledge my abhorrence for menial work, my meals are never a difficult task to secure. When I discovered he had been chasing Sookie it took me all the inner calm that Godric had taught me to find, not to end the foul blooded’s life instantly.


Apparently Bill Compton had missed the memo that Sookie Stackhouse was under my protection and his punishment would never allow him to forget that again. It wasn’t the first time tonight that my mind fell to Bill Compton’s name. The close proximity of his home had made me suspicious and I had already issued a warrant for his arrest. The trackers on staff had yet to find a conclusive trace and that had made me even more suspicious of the civil war veteran.


The apprehended vampire trio were known troublemakers. They had clearly taken gain of a sudden advantageous situation. A flammable house full of high ranking Sanguines. I had the unfortunate honour of dealing with them before at Sookie’s request, they had been plaguing her former hometown, destroying the reputation we so diligently built up. Liam, Malcolm and Diane could best be described as anarchists. Like most of the impure blooded they fought authority and control. Even when released from their maker they were always held at the control of the Sanguine. We are the haves to their nots.


I have some sympathy for their cause but they have yet to prove they are worthy of carrying the responsibility like we Sanguine do. Our relationship to the human world is barely out of unchartered waters and now our internal struggles were set to rock the boat.


I sighed rubbing at the temples of my head as if I were still capable of getting headaches. Thankfully our teleconferencing marathon seemed to be coming to an end. The head of our house was the only line of connection left. I sat down once more knowing she would not have a conversation with us that was to be considered brief.


“How goes things with your child,” Aelia asked of Godric with a lopsided smile. We were both raised to alarm when she continued, “and his intended telepathic bride.”


I didn’t like this. There was a reason I kept quiet about Sookie and her abilities, at the hands of the Sanguine anything of promise becomes a negotiable tool. I cared for Sookie too damn much for her to be an asset or a toy. My face held the full force of my threatening anger as it was directed at Godric. I knew Sookie had shared her ability with him on the night they had met. It was up to her to whom she shared it with but it was not up to those who knew of it to share that information freely. Instead of finding guilt in Godric’s face, his mirrored mine. We were both accusing each other of the same betrayal. Which left Eric.


Godric and I had reached the same conclusion at the same time. His face was strained with the pain of it. Naturally he blamed himself, he had taught Eric much but he had kept him out of the Machiavellian mechanisations of our politics. At our quiet Aelia proved just how cleverly manoeuvring we Sanguines can be when dedicated to that particular craft.


“You thought I would really allow a Sanguine as formidable as he to court a mere mortal,” Aelia smiled with a menace only she possessed. “You’re losing your touch Godric.”


“What is she?” I couldn’t help but ask. Everyone including Sookie knew she was something more than human. Not even Godric’s vast wisdom had yielded an answer to what she was.


“That’s for me to know and for you to find out, poodle,” she replied with a saccharine tone that made me gag whenever I heard it. Under normal circumstances I liked Aelia a great deal but when she was out of her familial role we were greeted by her political alter ego that had ruled for millennia with reason. “You have until tomorrow night. I expect you to be there to receive me on the landing strip.” With that I knew that things were going to get more painful than getting that particular stripe fashioned on your pubic mound.


Without notice the connection was disconnected. I had forgotten that one could have a brief conversation with Aelia, it was always the announcement to a larger one. Her unexpected presence was never a good sign and added to that our house’s apparent interest in Sookie only sought to make me more nervous. I wordlessly followed a determined Godric out to the living area.


“Eric,” he commanded with the full force of his two thousand years. Under any other circumstance I would have cackled at the sight of a befuddled Eric being dragged off by Godric at half his height but tonight was not the time for laughter or joy. I gave Sookie a warning look not to interfere and she was smart enough to adhere. I closed the door to our unused bedroom leaving Sookie outside and watched the fear and distress flicker across Eric’s face. He was still so easy to read with his exaggerated human expressions. It was almost endearing. Almost.


“What have you told Aelia of Sookie?” Godric demanded with a cool rage that once had me bending to his every command. I still shivered at the memory of it.


The poor boy looked like a puppy with his enlarged eyes. His devotion to Godric was astounding, I recognised it as my own. Godric didn’t gain respect through punishment or fear. Instead one suffered in carrying his disappointment of you. It was more crippling than anything else.


“Nothing,” he replied quietly. “I only told her I was visiting someone from my past. She told me good luck.”


Godric seemed quickly satisfied, their bond functioning as his personal polygraph test. Eric apparently lacked the knowledge to read his maker as his tense demeanour remained without relent. I told Godric in our ancient French tongue to put the boy out of his misery and only received a questioning look in return. An unnecessary gust of air expelled from my lungs as I realised I seemed to be the only one speaking all the spoken and unspoken languages in the room.


“Who have you told of Sookie’s telepathy?” I asked the shivering pup. “Our house seems to know of her ability and wants her in the fold.”


“Sookie is mine,” he growled out as if to prove he was nothing of the infant dog I had just compared him to.


Indeed she was his even before he came back into her life. He was lucky our house had the same objective as he, although I was yet to find out how unscathed they would both come out of that. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the display as Godric seemed to finally catch on and tried to calm his child’s flare up through their bond.


“Who have you told?” I demanded again my patience having depleted with my spent energies of the day. There better be a really nice donor waiting when we get out of this lockdown or I swear whether she’s Eric’s or not I’ll be demanding my emergency blood contingency from Sookie.


“No one,” he screamed. “I would never betray her like that. I didn’t even know what she was for certain till she told me.”


Godric gave a minute nod to attest the validity of his statement. I knew the list of suspects was short. The demon lawyer was out of the question he couldn’t betray her if he tried, it was imbedded in his DNA. That left her brother, Eric’s sister and the little were.


“Louvelle,” Godric and I said in unison.


“No,” Eric responded vehemently springing to her defence. “She would never.”


“Her brother and your sister have both received the laser treatment to avert our glamour,” I informed knowing all too well. I had tried bedding them both to no avail. Stupid monogamy.


“If this information was retrieved through glamour it can’t be Louvelle,” he continued in his denial. “They cannot glamour a were.”


Under normal circumstances that would be true but the young girl was not fully matured at her tender age. Even if she wasn’t glamoured teenage girls were loose lipped. Whether Eric liked it or not she was the most likely suspect and I didn’t refrain from telling him so. Before he could continue his rant of denial a mere look from Godric forced his silence. His petulance wasn’t that different from mine by the looks of it.


“Even if she is the one that leaked what difference does it make now?” a soft voice from the door asked. In our heightened discussion none of us had taken in Sookie’s sudden presence. “We should be focusing on what we are going to do next. They won’t be the first to seek me out for my telepathy and they most likely won’t be the last.”


We didn’t need to blink as vampires but all three of us did in quick succession anyhow.


“You all talk really loud,” she said with a tone that was supposed to read as apologetic.


“Who?” Eric asked the worry lacing his eyes.


“FBI, CIA, Mossad, FBS, Interpol and a couple of privately held security companies,” she shrugged as if it were completely unimpressive. “I’m lucky I inherited Eric’s money. I was too much in the public eye to just disappear from one day to the next. I consult now and then but only for the good guys.”


I looked at her aghast, for all the years that we knew each other so well, she had never spoken one word of it. She went on small trips now and then usually dragging her brother along. Now I realised there was far more to those trips than I thought. She always picked the strangest destinations.


“How do they know?” Godric requested in a tone so gentle I hardly recognised it as his.


“I grew up as a struggling telepath in full sight of a town that talks for leisure,” she returned with her head leaning on the doorframe. “My long lost cousin tipped off the FBI when she was in need of leniency for her own crimes. And I’m pretty sure those spy rings are as gossipy as the old ladies of Bon Temps. I downplay the effectiveness of it and help with causes my conscious can support. I’m surprised it took the supernatural world this long to catch on.”


Within an instant Eric had stood in front of her with his impressive flight and speed. Show off. His hands held her sudden blushing cheeks. The worry in his eyes had transformed to admiration that blew what he held for Godric to pieces.


“God you’re beautiful,” he whispered to her before plundering her lips.


And so Godric and I stood awkwardly as witnesses to their ever deepening kiss.


Some party this is.




 A/N: True confession; I may be a little intoxicated while posting this (bite me I just delivered a major project and there was cause for drinks) but apparently alcoholic persuasion got my elusive graphic muse working her tiny little brains. She thinks she was funny after reading a snarky comment of Pam’s which altered the title slightly and had me spending fifteen minutes drawing up ‘unique’ character banners. Drunk muse is high on her own hilarity, I will have to see what my pounding brain will think of it in the morning. So I suggest to check out the character banners below while they’re still here 😉


The reference page has been updated outlining Pam’s queendom and an explanation on the Guard of Anûšiya. The family tree has also been updated to indicate Aelia’s position in the house of Aurelie. There’s also a ‘proper’ banner of Aelia there.


Story will be back on Saturday with SPOV and we’ll finally get out of the basement and some quality E/S time.


Special thanks to VAlady and treewitch703 for taking the time to pre-read and their invaluable feedback. 














27 thoughts on “Chapter 5 – Pity Party (aka Life in the Dreamhouse)

    1. (it was all surprisingly easy to find…) they have a whole Gone With the Wind set. I’m going to need a lot more alcohol to wash away all the pink I had to click through…


    1. Funny as she may be, I posted the wrong chapter on and my responses to comments lost all care for grammar and words… next time I’ll be posting before drinking, it’s the responsible thing to do 😉


  1. Oh I really did appreciate this chapter!! I like it when things get explained by Pam’s point of view….
    I’m happy that Pam in this story cares for Sookie…The one thing that I don’t about TB is when AB changed Pam’s character-I mean I love Pam! but on the show she is so whiney and when another woman shows her affection or love to Eric – she becomes like a jealous housewife… Your banners are wonderful especiially Bill’s one !!! Looking forward for another update on Saturday…Take care


    1. Yes Pam is a good intermediary. I love Pam’s character on the show apart from the mean spirited jealousy. They tried to redeem that a bit with the Sylvie storyline but that felt like such backtracking BS to me I preferred it when Pam was just jealous out of fear for Eric’s sanity. At least that still made sense, she’s a bitch, an extremely loyal bitch, and I’m fine with that. I’m sure if she spent more than one night with Sookie she’d be ‘ok’ with her, especially if Sookie treated Eric with some more care because let’s be honest aside from amnesia Eric, Sookie’s been pretty callous with Eric’s affections on the show. She uses him as an emotional crutch when she’s feeling down, in ep 4 Eric’s consoling her when he’s the one about to turn into goo.


    1. I take the spark of what was there from canon Sookie, I just always felt her character was somewhat underdeveloped as she matured. I just can’t accept a ‘stupid’ Sookie, you can’t get to her age as a sane telepath and not be intelligent in my humble opinion…


  2. LMAO at all the Barbie references…only to come to the end and find THE BANNERS!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!! I almost needed my warning! Posting & drinking at the same time is fine as long as you hold the glass up! I love the banners – there’s a Godric? I knew about the GWTW, but having Rhett labeled as Bill is just… wrong, funny as hell though! Miss Pammy’s POV was great. I love Book Pam. She’s an awesome bitch & she collects shoes. What’s not to love? In fact, I think I’ll read it again.


    1. It’s where my mind went with CH’s novels, the colour of their hair and how it matched just equated Barbie and Ken in my mind, although I don’t think I’m the only one. The Godric doll is from some show or the other I don’t remember (intoxicated remember) but it was a perfect fit. I tried looking for the disco triplets too but I only got as far as Dianne, no bald tattoo ken to be found… I was totally pissed I was going to put a sparkly disco ball in the background and everything…

      I love me a Pam’s POV, we’re probably more alike than I would care to admit. I love her in all incarnations (apparently liking TB Pam is a bit of a no no but she made the episode as a Republicunt last week). I’m having great fun with this Pam and I found her the best maker ever seeing that Eric wasn’t available a few hundred years ago.


      1. Your Pam is fucking hilarious and regal! She seems as though she would be a fantastic maker…something for Sookie to think of in future chapters…hints? OMG! I was laughing so much at those dolls, here all by myself, thank goodness the AC was on or the neighbors might have thought I was being murdered. They already know I’m insane. The Disco Triplets in the Barbie Collectible section would be great! I wonder if you can get custom made orders? Who am I kidding? Have plastic, have product.

        I DO happen to know I’m like Pam but she’s more amusing. TB Pam is a bit harder, but TPTB changed her background, so her brittle exterior really does suit her. “The madam with a heart of gold” is what they were attempting, but I think she comes across as more of one with a heart of stone. Or carbon, lead, etc. Her heart died long before she did and that’s why she’s the perfect vampire. She’s not very likeable, and I’m not sure TB Pam is supposed to be, but she’s had some of the best line throughout the series, and damn! She’s got a kick ass wardrobe & attitude. She’s a bit too much at times though; over the top, I guess.

        I LOVED Pam’s comment from Ep. 5! That was one of the best of ALL seasons! Being the liberal hippie that I still am made me love it even more. That will be running through my mind this fall as I work to get out the vote…(bad, msb., bad!) I think Pam would be great fun to on a girls night out. She has no filter, imagine getting her drunk? LOL! A night to remember!

        You always do a fantastic job, intoxicated or not. Excellent writing!


        1. I’m not writing intoxicated… it’s not that bad yet 😉 I don’t drink a lot at all, it just keeps me up all night and makes me think I’m hilarious when I’m not… and now makes me post the wrong chapter on *oops* 😦

          I like ice princess Pam even when she puts down Sookie because of it. The little telepath can take some non supe ass kissing now and then. I don’t think you need to get Pam drunk she’s pretty much already there… and I’m not speaking from experience at all 😉

          I’d always figured Pam to be a little right wing seeing she likes no one except herself and Eric and let’s not forget she’s a ‘job creator’ but the George W. Bush draining of the Statue of Liberty was firmly present in a couple of Fangtasia shots so who knows what kind of subliminal messages they are trying to send us now… Pam’s comment alone made up for the crap of season 6 a tiny smidge…

          Glad to hear you enjoyed this one.


            1. I have my moments when sober but after two glasses of wine everything is hilarious to me when it really isn’t…

              Guess what someone actually made a Sookie, Eric and Bill. They’re freakishly fantastic, I’m still deciding whether to post it on its own on my postless thursday or sneak it in with the next chapter.


              1. No way. I’ve got to see this. Does Beehl have sideburns? Bwaaahhhh!!! I think it would be great with the next chapter… I’m already hearing the laughter…


                1. I had to check, but yes to the sideburns. I’ll send it along with the announcement for Saturday’s post. Now if some creative person can just start acting out little youtube videos with them then I’ll be in heaven!


                  1. That makes two of us… I’ve got extra laptops for after frying the screen with liquids. Bring ’em on!

                    Wonder if they’re like the “talking” Barbies from I was a kid. Pull Bill’s string & he’ll say, “Sookeh is mine!” OOH! Imagine what Eric’s would do!


                    1. Eric would have to be the master puppeteer because in the words of Pam, “he pulls good string” and I think we’re just going to have to fashion you a windscreen wiper for your laptops…


                    2. LOL! I just saw that Radio Shack has waterproof screen covers on sale and I thought of our little chats immediately! I’ll be picking up few tomorrow… I’ll be looking for keyboard covers as well. It’s a good thing I’m a techy nerd cause I can be dangerous around this stuff.

                      Pulls good string… Pam would know!


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