Bonfire of the Vanities: Chapter 14 and a new fixin’!

It’s torture Bill week in my stories… I don’t intentionally schedule these things but it just sort of happens :D. Next chapter is up and the next fixin’s is here or find it on this week’s fixin’s page. Enjoy!



# 10


Sookie was exhausted from the night. It had been really nice of Lafayette and James to hire her the famous Turkey Fryer of the South for their dinner but it did leave her making everything else. She didn’t have the heart to tell them no, when she really should have but it had been like that for a while now. Sookie would never regret saying yes to being their surrogate, the whole experience of pregnancy was amazing but it was exhausting. The constant touching of her belly was a nightmare for the telepath whose ability amplified with the contact. Then there were the questions. The constant questions about the baby daddy, because in the small minded community of Bon Temps it was more acceptable for some random man to have knocked up Sookie Stackhouse than for the token gay vampire couple to be having a baby. She tried to correct them constantly but their minds revealed it often enough, the two men could never equate to be capable fathers in anyone’s mind. For once she had just stopped trying to fight everyone’s assumptions on Thanksgiving and played right along that John Everyman was the baby’s daddy. It was just easier that way.


This wasn’t her idea of Thanksgiving anyhow, as nice as it had been not to fuss over a turkey it wasn’t a true Stackhouse Thanksgiving without Adele’s famous fried chicken. As she sat herself down in her Gran’s comfortable reclining chair she groaned with the loss of that particular dish at the table that night as Jason had scoffed it up before she was able to get a single bite. Annoyingly indigestion caused her to taste the results of that deep fried monstrosity instead. That irksome and vain John Everyman just stole her damn seat at the head of the table leaving her the empty one next to it and her Southern manners couldn’t politely excuse her from tasting the man’s ‘fine’ product.


“I should have used the pregnancy card,” she grumbled to herself while flailing a little to get up in search of some saltines. “Should have told them to have their own Thanksgiving feast while I was at it. Fucking John Everyman.”


She sighed with relief when she located her sleeve of crackers even though it appeared Jason had struck again and had raided her special pregnancy stash leaving the top few to become stale. Her whole body was, however, extremely grateful as her upset baby and stomach quieted down with the salty injection.


“Bed,” she thought to herself as she finally let fatigue overtake her “Screw all the dishes that still need to go in the fridge.” As she neared the object of her desire promising a soft sleep it seemed Sookie was reminded how futile such thoughts were as fate took that moment to remind her just what a cruel bitch it truly was in the life of a fairy hybrid telepath while the phone rang for attention.


“Fucking hell,” Sookie muttered softly to herself as she answered while taking in the late hour of the night.


“Well fucking hell to you too,” the voice on the line tittered as her otherworldly senses had easily picked up her internal monologue. “You mind if I pitch that to Eric as our new greeting. It describes the atmosphere here so aptly.”


“No,” Sookie whined when she recognised the voice.


“You seriously mind?”


“What? No, I assume you’re calling,” Sookie exhaled rather audibly not really wishing to finish the sentence that would confirm that her selfless acts for the night were far from over, “about Niall?”


“Points for Tinkerbelle,” Pam returned dryly. “The place has been closed for half an hour and he refuses to leave, you’re going to have to come pick him up.”


“No,” she whimpered as the thought of reaching the comfort of her bed seemed to become more elusive by the minute. “Can’t he just sleep it off in your dungeon or something?”


“Like I’d put my prize poodle at risk like that,” Pam huffed out in protest. “Last time we tried that I found him dry humping Sarah while she screeched like a bitch in heat. Damn seductress, she’s not allowed any pleasure by the guidelines of the AVL nor are we allowed to do anything but dispense her blood and you know how hard it is to keep that Fairy granddaddy away from her, even when I’m in the room.”


“Pam I just can’t ok,” Sookie pleaded. She couldn’t deal with this tonight. Niall’s obsession with Sarah Newlin was getting out of hand. He was wasting away hundreds of thousands of dollars for her company spending minutes talking to her but never touching her under Pam’s watchful eyes. When his money ran out for the night he would drink himself to misery on spaghetti spiked Bloody Marys. Till inevitably Sookie was sent to pick him up.


“I spent days slaving away on my feet, cooking and cleaning so everyone could have a perfect Thanksgiving when all I wanted was some fried chicken. I need to sleep those few hours that the baby isn’t kicking my insides to pieces. Please can’t he stay with you?” Sookie appealed once more.






“Hold on,” Pam informed as the receiver went silent and a vague mumble of voices was heard in the background. Sookie beseeched to all known deities that the blonde vampiress would deal with Niall just this one time so she could get some rest. “Eric’s on his way.”


“What no!” she replied with horror at the thought. The house was a bomb site and she hadn’t dared look at herself in the mirror but Sookie was pretty sure she looked far worse than the remnant mess of her enforced party.


“You know you should really use that word more often with the people around you instead of just with me and my maker.”


“What?” Sookie asked in confusion as she wondered how quickly she could clean up the chaos that surrounded her.


“No,” Pam clarified. “It really isn’t that hard of a word. Look where it got you tonight. Did you ever tell any of those friends no?”


“No,” she answered meekly.


“Good you’re practicing,” Pam preened with pride. “Life’s a shit ton easier if you tell the right people to fuck off now and then.”


“Can I still tell Eric not to bring Niall here?”


“No,” Pam intoned sotto voce. “With my maker’s lead feet he’s probably already halfway there.”


“Oh,” Sookie sighed with deflation. “All right, thanks for the advice Pam.”


“Yeah, whatever,” she returned. “I have to go feed Sarah and take her out for a walk. See you in fucking hell.”


“Well fucking hell to you too,” Sookie greeted back in return to the dial tone. She pulled the red quilt from the couch and decided to wait outside on the porch swing hoping that would stop Eric from entering the disarray that was her home. It didn’t take long for her drive to light up with the beams coming from the luxury two-seater. She waddled down the porch to greet them with a small wave. The nausea that she had only so shortly tampered down unfortunately chose that moment to release itself as she took in the rank odours of Niall. While she had prided herself in projecting away from the car she hadn’t calculated that to be the path where a concerned Eric suddenly stood.


“Oh my god,” she screeched out in horror as she took in the contents of her dinner painted all over Eric’s chest. Forgetting all about the state of her home she urged him inside to clean up. Eric insisted for her to take it easy by carrying Niall in after dispensing his soiled shirt. It was an odd sight, mostly because the image of him reminded Sookie of the man she was once picked up from the side of the road when he was walking shirtless with no memories. Just in jeans, just like now. Eric took little offense when Sookie apologised for the mess as he gently deposited the fairy prince on her sofa. Sookie covered him with the quilt and offered Eric the use of her shower and the clothes he had once worn.


It was a bitter pill to swallow for Sookie when Eric emerged all cleaned up in his basketball shorts and sleeveless hooded shirt. Even his hair flopped around without the usual products in place. She was nervously trying to stow away all the messes when he stilled her hands.


“Sookie let me?” he offered. Despite her lessons with Pam to use the word no more in her vocabulary for the first time that night she found there was no desire to express that particular word to Eric. She gave a brief nod at which he guided her to a chair before he set to put away the last of the dishes.


“Thank you Eric,” Sookie said with melancholic eyes as she remembered the domestic bliss those amnesia days had been. On some level it felt cruel to be visually reminded of it in such a detailed representation now, but for the first time that night she was truly thankful for something.



Sookie woke to familiar cooking smells, ones which she never thought to experience again unless she created them herself. She couldn’t remember how she had ended up in her bed but the modest amount of sleep she had been gifted with had been a godsend. As she emerged from her bedroom she was shocked to discover the whole house had been put to right again, not a surface was left untouched by cleaning products. High handed but oh so welcome for once. The only evidence of the hell that was her previous night was the sight of her grandfather contentedly sleeping on her sofa mumbling Sarah’s name now and then.


She was perplexed at the sight of Eric still in his borrowed attire standing in her kitchen preparing her grandmother’s famous fried chicken while carefully studying her Gran’s recipe cards.


“What are you doing?”


“Cooking,” he answered simply.


“I see that,” Sookie acknowledged. “Why?”


“I remember you told me about this holiday when I stayed here. That the thing you liked most was that your grandmother would always keep a batch of fried chicken behind that you would eat together for breakfast the next morning,” Eric explained. “There were none to be found.”


“You didn’t have to do that,” she said touched as tears started staining her eyes. Pregnancy or Eric induced, she wasn’t quite sure. Sookie realised she didn’t have any chicken left in the fridge which meant that aside from cleaning her whole house he had gone out and miraculously procured it on Thanksgiving. “Why?”


“You really have to ask me why?” he said tersely as the last of the chicken was set to drain of its fat. “Isn’t it obvious? Why I continue to live in Shreveport when I can afford to be anywhere in the world? Why I continue to run a nightclub I despise? For fuck’s sake… Why I allow your grandfather to pay his way with Monopoly money night upon night?”


“Why?” she whispered.


“The vampire is a good man and he loves you,” Niall bellowed from the sofa before falling back to sleep again. Sookie’s eyes pleaded to his for confirmation of the statement that seemed so unceremoniously thrown into the room.


“Because I came here without a thought or a cent to my name and I all I desired in that moment was you. Simply to love you,” Eric offered in explanation as he brushed away the tears that were staining her face. “I’d trade everything I have just to experience that again. For it to last beyond a few nights.”


“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”


“You might have said no,” he confessed softly revealing the insecurity that had marked his personality so strongly back then.


“Well apparently I have difficulty using that word,” she said with a small smile as she leaned into him. “Just ask Pam. Then ask me. Make me an offer I can’t refuse, give me a reason to never want to utter the word no again when it comes to you.”


His mouth hovered just above hers, the words came deep from his throat with a husky rasp, “Be mine?”


Her lips answered as they both decided words were superfluous and always would be between them. Their bodies communicated far better than anything else ever would as the tentative touch of the lips deepened to a desperate kiss. Strong and urgent but always honest.


Niall’s head rose from the sofa as he took in the lovers disentangling from their intimate embrace. A smile was plastered upon both their faces as they completely forgot the regal presence in the living room.


“Does this mean I get to be with Sarah now?” he enquired, bursting them from their contented bubble.


“NO!” they barked as a united front. Niall gave a small pout and pretended to be extremely disheartened as he sank back into the sofa. However, a mischievous grin encompassed his face as he texted his blonde vampiric partner in crime that it had been a complete success and that he would now be holding her to that three-way in hell.



A/N: Thanks to violetsdream for suggesting Sookie be the surrogate for Lafayette and James’ baby and beardy nobody to just be a nobody. And thanks for VAlady for reminding me of book Niall’s infamous line.


Just to prove how much of an impact James made on me… #trueconfession I started this piece three times having to look up his name and without fail getting utterly distracted with other things each and every time… but thankfully I found inspiration for another piece involving Six Flags…




Chapter 14 – Broken


Bonfire of the Vanities: Chapter 13 is here plus a fixin’!


So I give you installment 6 of what I call Thanksgiving Fixin’s that I somehow continue to find inspiration for below. As for Bonfire of the Vanities, the next chapter is up so enjoy that too; a little maenad aftermath and leads into where this story will continue.


A/N: Slight non-con warning but really it’s all in the name of comedic hijinks nothing graphic and I doubt anyone will take offense (Eric doesn’t) but just in case you have been warned…




“You can come out of the woods now,” Sookie spoke at a normal volume to human ears, knowing he would hear her with ease.


“In a minute,” he yelled back as he continued his game of Candy Crush on his phone. Sookie shook her head as she gathered the final plates and blew out the last of the candles.


“You could have just joined us at the table,” she sighed not expecting an answer as she heard the tell-tale music in the background that would have him glued to the smartphone for hours.


“You know weres make me itchy,” he returned with a crinkle of his nose startling her with his sudden appearance beside her.


“And shifters are shifty,” Sookie sighed as she repeated the usual insults flung at her friends. She gave him a fiery scowl before she shoved the stack of plates into his arms. “Take those inside will you?”


“I don’t understand why you do this all yourself.”


“Because I want to,” she said with a hard glare, unwilling to discuss this subject again.


“I wish you would allow me to take care of you,” he tried again.


“I already told you no. I’m doing just fine on my own.”


“With Bob?”


“Don’t start about Bob again,” Sookie warned. “He pays his share of the bills and that’s all that matters.”


“He’s a cat,” he pointed out.


“Was a cat,” Sookie corrected. It was per Holly’s suggestion that Bob had come to live with Sookie as she needed the money while missing work during the final trimester of her pregnancy. It had been a little disconcerting when she first met him as he resembled Alcide in looks. Looking back if starting a family was ever going to have happened with anyone it would have been with the deceased werewolf. Sookie had soon after discovered he was a rare breed among his kind. She had tried to date human men after that but it was a wasted attempt. She had closed herself off of any further vampire romances as she could no longer see a long term future in that anymore, they all just seemed to carry too much baggage. She would be lying to herself that she didn’t like to google a certain Viking’s name on a cold and lonely night but only with that distance would she entertain any hint of fang. She was an independent woman now and that was that.


By all appearances Bob would have been her perfect partner. His transformation into a cat for two years had altered his brain signature making it sound like a subtle haze. He was handsome but just like Alcide, he was still hung up on the ex that had made him miserable. Besides she had decided two years ago she wanted to be a mother regardless of a man in her life and had become quite familiar with the turkey baster beyond its use on Thanksgiving Day. After the fifth failed attempt she had finally given in and allowed the man who was now harassing her to help her out financially by having the procedure performed in a state of the art clinic. However, it made the ancient think he had a say in every decision in her life and hover over her like an overbearing father.


“Sookie, the babies needs a father figure in its life,” he started again.


“I turned out fine without one for most of my life,” she returned. “And Jason will do a fine job as uncle just like he does with his own kids.”


“The gene clearly skipped that one.”


Sookie rolled her eyes in annoyance as she set down the prepared plate of pasta in front of him that he demanded whenever he deigned it appropriate to ‘pop’ in on her.


“Can we just skip the running commentary tonight and get straight to the point?” Sookie asked.


“We Fae are promiscuous beings,” he explained between bites of his spaghetti. “It’s why traditionally the women held power. The assurance of the royal blood passing through them asserted their reign.”


“I’d really like to get to my bed soon Niall,” Sookie said with and incessant tap of her feet.


“At some point in our history it became too complex to continue to pass power with our long lifespan so we incited magic to bind us to an individual,” he continued to explain. “Like a marriage.”


“And this made you faithful?” she questioned sceptically.


“No, but it assured only between those two a child could be born. It’s why so many fairies are reproductively challenged now.”


“That’s real interesting Niall. Are you done?”


“You and the Northman exchanged blood correct?” Sookie nodded to information she had already told her great grandfather a long time ago. “You entered a winter realm of your own.”


“What does this have to do with each other great granddaddy? Just spit it out already.”


“The Northman is the father of the babies.”


With that revelation the glass of warm milk Sookie had been nursing splattered all over the Prince of the Fae’s face. “Excuse me?”



Sookie was extremely tired but after Niall’s admissions there was no way that she would ever find anything but a fitful rest that night. She moved past the long line round the once familiar building of Fangtasia thankful to spot Pam at the door. Aside from the sneering look directed her way Pam was helpful enough to show her into Eric’s office.


“Hi,” Sookie said nervously to the vampire that she hadn’t seen or heard from in years.


“Sookie,” he returned with caution in his voice as he took in her swollen form. “You are with child?”


“Two actually. Fairies are not so good with the singular.”


“What can I do for you?” Eric asked still slightly mesmerised by her sudden appearance while indicating they take a seat on the sofa. He had thought of her often and had a vivid daydream a few months back but he had given her the space she required of him and continued his bored existence on without her. Always with a cautious eye to her safety in the background but he had given strict instructions not to be informed of her personal life. A small part of him had always hoped that she would suddenly reappear in his life like tonight and the truth of her life may have shattered that fantasy.


“Congratulationsthey’reyours!” Sookie blurted out.


“Come again?”


“Do you remember me coming to you in a nurse’s outfit?” she asked with cheeks flushed red with the embarrassment of it all. “I gave you a…”


“Sponge bath and a happy ending in a cup,” he finished with a smirk. “That really happened? I was sure it was a dream. You saucy minx.”


“Well it happened, but it wasn’t me. Itwasniall.”


“You’re going to have to repeat that last part slower,” Eric said coolly as he peeled away the mortified hands hiding her face.


“It wasn’t me. It was my great granddaddy Niall Brigant,” she explained with fear in her eyes. “He magicked himself to look like me after I finally allowed him help to get me pregnant but I swear I didn’t know Eric. I thought he was just fronting me the money for IUI. Apparently we’re fairy bound and you’re the only one able to father my children because royal fairies can’t keep it in their pants. I only found out tonight Eric, I’m so sorry but you deserved to know.”


“Violated by the prince of the fae… I’ve had worse,” Eric shrugged before it dawned on him what extraordinary magic had actually taken place. Confusion marred his otherwise beautiful face. “I’m going to be a father?”


“Yeah,” she admitted shyly. “We’ll work something out. Whatever you want.”


“Whatever I want?” he asked with far too much smugness than Sookie felt he should be afforded.


“With limitations,” she added quickly in her sternest voice.


“Tell me when I reach the limitations,” he offered in negotiation to which she gave a small nod of assent. “I want us to be in each other’s life again. Take you out to dinners. Spoil you with gifts,” he tested.


“No gifts.”


“Gifts for the babies?” Eric tried and with her silence he continued, “I want to be there every step of the way. The doctor’s appointments, the birth, bringing them home.” His eyes sparkled at the prospect with what was to come, what rare gifts resided inside her. Tentatively he reached out to the round of her stomach with her consent and felt the buzzing of life beneath. He moved his head close, listening to the cacophony of heartbeats and taking in their unique smell. Eric had thought her altered scent odd and familiar but now he recognised it, they were the aromas of that magical realm that they had ended up in after they had shared blood. “I want to bring them to our home,” he finally said looking up at her.


“Eric, I-”


“Without the day I only have half of their lives to enjoy Sookie,” he explained while cutting of her protests. “I don’t want to miss a single moment. We do not have to be lovers to live under the same roof. Unless that is something you would want.”


“Is that something you want?” she asked in deflection unwilling to lay her heart out to be trampled on.


“I didn’t think I would be the one needing to clarify that,” Eric grinned as his hand found hers. “I want… You. The question really is do you want me?”


With events weighing heavy on her Sookie never was able to give him an answer to that question the same night but had agreed to let him into her and the babies’ life. Her intended resistance lasted three nights before they found themselves satiated and tangled in bed. At first she blamed the pregnancy hormones but soon couldn’t deny the residual feelings of love that had never waned from her system.


Her home became their home within a fortnight and Eric doted on her every step of the way. Gifts for the babies soon became gifts for her. It was after the twins’ first birthday party that they had agreed on a code word spoken before sex when Niall suggested they get to making babies numbers three to six with a lewd gesture of an open fisted hand and the same saucy wink ‘Nurse Sookie’ had given Eric once. It didn’t take them long to settle on the word that would instantly betray the prince of the fae.









Chapter 13 – Shrouds


Bonfire of the Vanities: Chapter 12 is up!

So I’ve gone from ‘Meh’ about TB finale to slightly incensed today when I read that it was only through the intervention of an anonymous HBO exec that Brian Buckner’s original plan to have Sookie actually use her light was vetoed. Why was Buckner whining about this you ask? Because it would have given Bill a more heroic death. Well the good thing about getting me riled up is that it gets my fingers typing. So I give you installment 2 of what I call Thanksgiving Fixin’s that will feature in my announcement posts until I run out of inspiration. It’s unrelated to the snippet I put in the announcement post for 6MTL and I am housing them in one page as well in case you miss one. As for Bonfire of the Vanities, the next chapter is here too so enjoy that; it’s maenady but it’ll be the last you see of her 😀



It was probably the worst place to be on the night before Thanksgiving, Walmart. Sometimes schedules only afforded so much, so here she was waddling down the aisle, shopping list in one hand while her bump practically pushed the cart forward with a little bit of strength from the other arm. Her brows furrowed as she took in the sheer volume of things she would need and questioning once again what frame of mind she was in to be hosting such an elaborate dinner for so many people when she was just about to pop and not in the fairy way. It was because of her internal musings and general lack of attention that had Sookie colliding with a solid unidentified object. Without thought the list was dropped and her hands immediately fell into protection of the precious bump before she ever managed to register what she had hit.


“Sookie?” an oddly familiar voice asked.


“Eric,” she smiled. “Long time no see.”


“Indeed,” he returned with a sultry smile. “I have been mainstreaming.”


“You haven’t changed a bit,” Sookie admonished in return shaking her head along with the playfulness of his words. Whenever Eric saw her he never quite relented making fun of the ex that had introduced them to each other. It kept his memory alive without it becoming a downtrodden affair.


“You have,” the blonde Viking said pointing to the large bump. “How is the rent a womb business?”


“I do quite well,” she quipped back. “Who knew a part fairy woman is the perfect gestational womb for the two natured? It beats working for Arlene.”


“And how is scufflebeard?”


“He makes a decent deep fried turkey so I guess he gets to stay…” she returned testily. “What are you doing her anyways Mr Northman?”


“Seeing to the New Blood display,” he offered gesturing at the giant display that put the Pyramids of Giza to shame.


“Right Mr Moneybags. How could I forget I see that cheesy grin of yours everywhere these days,” Sookie said as she attempted to do the impossible by picking up her fallen grocery list but before she could even bend at the knee he had already picked it up and out of her grasp. Her protests fell on deaf ears as a weary eyed employee was set to task to fetch all her groceries in an instant.


“No dessert?” he questioned with a piqued brow as he mentally recalled her list. “Perhaps I should bring you some. I am wondering where you left my invitation to this fantastical feast that Willa won’t shut up about.”


“I figured you were too busy,” she said with a hint of embarrassment. “But if you like you’re more than welcome to come. Pam too of course.” No matter how many years passed the smallest plea that she would ever afford him in those hypnotising eyes had him weak in the knees.


“Tell you what, you get rid of scufflebeard at the end of the night and I’ll swoop in with dessert.”


Her eyes lit up with excitement, “Well his use does sort of end after the meal.”


“Excellent I will see you then, I have to get back to work.”


“Sure,” she returned before giving him a small wave and sought out the man who now navigated her cart. At his insistence she sat and waited at the cash register while her order was trussed up and bagged and her payment was waived. She sighed with a hint of annoyance at Eric’s high handed ways but in the spirit of Thanksgiving decided to let it slide this once. Thankfully she was able to man her cart to her car assuring the employees she was perfectly capable of transferring a few grocery bags into the boot without aggrieving the illustrious Mr Northman.


She wasn’t surprised to find the overbearing vampire leaning against her car sporting a mischievous grin to match. Without a word he transferred the groceries into the car as she sat down into the driver’s seat thankful to let up her feet.


With his hand still on the car he leaned in and gave her a deep kiss on the mouth as the other caressed the life inside her tummy. “How are my two favourite girls?” Eric murmured as he continued to kiss down the length of her neck before showering her swollen stomach with kisses as she gasped for air.


“Content as always,” Sookie replied. “Hey what about Pam?”


“Not a favourite girl tonight,” he explained.


“Does that mean what I think it means?” she asked excitedly.


“Yeah,” Eric answered happily. “She’ll be making you two pecan pies, a peach cobbler and the obligatory pumpkin pie.”


“With nutmeg?”


“With nutmeg,” he assured. It was a dumbfounding discovery to Sookie that Pam could bake, she was quite the domestic goddess although she killed anyone who knew that about her. Whenever her petulance broke out it proved to be quite the effective punishment to dole out and Sookie happily reaped the rewards of her baking skills. It was sacrilege for her to even to think it, never would she ever admit it aloud, but Pam’s baking repertoire was better than her Gran’s. It only made sense that the evil spawn made sinfully delicious things.


“Thank god,” Sookie said in relief. “Scufflebeard may be a professional private chef but he can’t bake a thing if his life depends on it. Can I please have my kitchen back after Thanksgiving? You know how I feel about live in staff.”


“We’ve discussed this,” Eric returned sternly as he carefully tried to avoid the pouty face that had him giving in way too easily. “He’s staying till you’re fully recovered after our baby is born. Ludwig warned you about moving about too much. You should have sent him to do the groceries instead.”


“I know,” she moaned with her bottom lip jutting out again. “I just wanted to see you. It’s been so long.”


“It’s been two days,” he corrected before softening his tone. “But it’s nice to see you too. Once the meeting is done tomorrow tonight I’ll be all yours for the next couple of months. Ok? Nothing to distract me from my two favourite girls.”


“Ok,” Sookie said with mild resignation before sticking out her lips again in demand of another kiss which he was all too happy to accommodate. “So I’ll see you after.”




“With dessert?”


“With dessert.”





Chapter 12 – A Kind Soul