Thanksgiving Fixin’s 26






“All right, Jessica dear, your turn,” Pam expressed with a special hint of maliciousness that had Niall rubbing excitingly into her behind.


“I really don’t want to do this,” the redheaded vampire complained. “Wasn’t taking Hoyt from me punishment enough?”


“That was Sookie’s punishment for you,” Pam informed with little patience. “All she did was return his stolen memories. You did the rest on your own. That is far from punishment in my book.”


That took him from me! He wants nothing to do with me!” Jessica screamed angrily.


“Tell him that,” Pam shrugged in the direction of Jessica’s incapacitated Maker. “He’s the one who made you that way.”


The young vampire’s eyes instantly lit up with that realisation as she turned to Bill, happy to have found someone else to blame for her problems of her own making. “Like father, like daughter,” Pam noted dryly under her breath so only Niall would hear.


“These better be like their mother,” he murmured into her ear as he caressed the proud roundness of her belly.


“If you think I’m going to be a mother, you are strongly deluding yourself,” she huffed in return. “You made them, you raise them. I have been reliably informed that is the way of the Fae.”




“Don’t you Pamela me!” she retorted hotly.


“Pamela, Precious,” he continued more smoothly while nibbling at her neck, weakening her in the knees. “I know as well as you that you don’t simply abandon anything that’s yours.”


“Maybe,” Pam replied trying to evoke as much denial as possible in her tone. “You’re distracting Jessica from her task.”


“Jessica or you?” Niall murmured into the crook of her neck.


“Please tell me y’all are not having sex in front of me again,” Jessica cringed as she had barely recovered from the sight earlier that night. Bill appeared to be reinforcing that plea though he lacked the physical strength to do so.


“If you don’t hurry up we might, brat,” Pam intoned. “Go on! Air your grievances before you kill the cocksucker!”


“Don’t call him that!” Jessica shrieked in defence of her Maker.


“Bill has been gobbling down his own cocktail weenie for quite some time now,” the blonde vampiress noted dryly. “I’d say the description is rather accurate. Get on with it!”


“He’s my Maker,” the redhead whimpered. “I can’t.”


“This is why it’s called a punishment, Jessica,” Pam snipped back. “You know, you make Twatlips Sarah seem appealing in comparison. Now start skinning him like l showed you!”




They had just finished fastening in the carriers into the back of the car when little Eva stirred with a face of discontent that mirrored her father’s poorly hidden one. Sookie pulled the infant to her chest resting her head on her shoulder while making soothing noises as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. She glanced at Eric and saw the pensive thoughts flitter across his clouded eyes.


“What’s wrong with her?” Eric asked softly as Eva refused to quiet down.


“She’s picking up on your mood,” Sookie explained as the girl continued to cry. “What’s wrong?”


Eric didn’t answer with more than with a sigh.


“Godric?” Sookie probed tentatively.


“Bill said he came from Hell,” Eric returned with a hint of insecurity. It sounded ridiculous to him as the Viking himself had given up on religion long ago, or at least the human image of it. “What if?”


“Godric’s not in Hell,” Sookie spoke with conviction. “I’m sure of it. I was there, he was Heaven-bound.”


Eric nodded but both Sookie and Eva picked up on his lack of conviction. “Let me,” Eric offered, pulling Eva from her arms. She whimpered some in her father’s arms but soon quieted down.


“She’s a real Daddy’s girl,” Sookie sighed with a hint of jealousy while stroking her soft tearstained cheek. “Go on, Eric.”


He arched his brow in question as he continued to soothe his encompassing hand over Eva’s back.


“Go on and ask Bill, I’ll be here waiting,” she explained. “Although I’m inclined to believe he was in a Hell of his own making rather than the literal one.”


He whispered a thank you against her lips before kissing her softly in gratitude of her understanding, however; as soon as he tried to unload Eva in her arms the quiet and content baby instantly turned unruly again. “Just take her,” Sookie sighed as the little girl’s hands desperately reached for her father’s while in her mother’s grasp. “Make sure she doesn’t witness another death, please?”


“No killing in front of the baby,” he promised sincerely before speeding off with Eva who rested contentedly in his strong arms.




Niall held up the offending piece of flesh and studied it with scrutiny. He wondered how a man could live with something so inadequate but, then again, it explained so much of the brooding vampire’s behaviour. “Pamela, catch!” he warned before tossing the former appendage her way. She shrieked in horror as the wet flesh came into contact with her bare skin before falling to the ground before her. As if it were on fire and with panic in her eyes, she happily sacrificed her elegant pump as she pummelled the piece of flesh to smithereens while Bill watched in horror as the last bits of his masculinity were reduced to dust.


“Tell me about Claudine,” Niall commanded while Bill remained defiantly silent. The Prince of the Fae in turn gestured to the reluctant Jessica to proceed with the intricate shedding of pale skin.


“Asshole,” Pam grumbled as she took her position beside Niall again while brushing away at the point of impact where she swore Bill cooties now resided. “What was that for?”


“Claiming you would leave me with our children,” he returned. “Who informed you on that anyhow?”


“Andy Bellefleur,” she shrugged. “We’re Facebook friends. I sent out an invitation to him for my Kill Bill party. He and Jason will be here soon, and Ginger should be here any moment now with my custom yellow jumpsuit.” Pam was quite pleased with that; she had given instruction to her tailor to create the piece from the moment the annoyingly named Vampire Bill walked through the doors of Fangtasia. Without his demise the outfit had hung tauntingly in her closet for years reminding her of missed opportunities much like that ridiculous red and white dress she had often caught Eric nuzzling over the past years.


“Back to Claudine, asshole!” Pam demanded as she misted Bill’s exposed flesh with colloidal silver as the whimpering vampire continued in his surly silence.


“Mab,” he gasped finally as the pain became excruciating when the female vampire doused him for a second time. “I was helping her harvest the fairy sparks. She’s the one that sent Marnie here.”


“It was a trap you set for Eric then!” Pam ascertained as she pierced his eye with a hot silver needle.


“Yes!” he screamed out in agony. “Please just kill me now.”


“I promised Sookie not to,” Eric smirked, suddenly appearing in the singular line of vision now available to him holding a very pink bundle in his arms. A nasty scowl set a furrow in Eva’s brow with the close proximity and with great concern Eric checked the back of her diaper for any leakage, fumbling to keep the diaper on straight but failing miserably.


“You make quite the father,” Bill taunted with palpable insincerity. “If only your Maker could see you now. Completely at the mercy of little mortal women and your emotions.”


Satisfied that his daughter’s discontent was purely directed at the detested vampire, he protectively pulled her to his chest as he menacingly hovered over the Civil War veteran. “You know nothing of my Maker,” he seethed in full rage.


“Don’t I?” Bill countered as Jessica’s eyes started to tear up again, knowing that the worse Bill taunted his tormentors the more she would have to harm him. “Admit it, your Maker means more to you than any other. He’s more important than your precious Sookies or those abominations.”


“Don’t presume, Compton!” Eric spat out while Eva shifted uncomfortably, her eyes wanting to see the annoying vampire who was upsetting her Daddy.


“It’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” he returned smugly. “Need to know where your Maker ended up?”


Eric growled and a hiss escaped Eva’s lips. A small hidden smile escaped from Pam at the sight of the menacing little Eva Northman but the vampiress’ mouth quickly fell into its usual tight line when Niall caught a glimpse from the corner of his amused eye.


“He’s in Hell,” Bill returned gleefully. “Exactly where he belongs.”


“Bill, don’t,” Jessica begged. Her Maker though, had very little to live for and put everything forth to exact any form of revenge on the vampire who had stolen everything from him.


“You’re quite the manipulator, Bill,” Eric spoke coolly as he tried to mask the full range of anger and anguish that was rushing through his system. “But you’ve never been a talented liar.”


Bill laughed like a man without a care in the world. He had stopped feeling the pain now as it simply become a state of being at this point. “Look at you,” Bill exclaimed. “Can’t even hold a baby properly, and her,” he said with a derogatory glance towards Pam who was in that moment self-consciously rubbing her small baby bump. “She’s still a child; she couldn’t even take care of her own progeny because all she’ll ever chase after is you. You two have got to be the worst choice for parents in the world.”


“That’s not true,” Jessica spoke ever so softly in defence of the vampires who had fostered her in her early days. “Pam and Eric took good care of me when you didn’t want me.”


“And look how well you have turned out!” Bill spat out, his tone dripping with disappointment. “Can’t even keep a mortal man by your side.”


“That isn’t true,” Jessica whimpered.


“So he didn’t run with his tail between his legs from the moment he figured out what you truly are?”


“Yes, but-”


“Enough!” Eric interrupted with a chilling menace. “You will speak of Godric. Now.”


“Of course, your precious Maker,” he postured with maniacal glee. “It doesn’t matter if I tell you he’s living it up with my Maker in the pits of Hell or that he’s noticeably absent, does it? You’ll never know for sure till you fall on a stake, and that, Eric Northman, is why I will die happy tonight over and over again. You. Will. Never. Know.”


Eric’s temper flared with the undeniable truth offered. One he couldn’t argue against but Eric refused to grant Bill the satisfaction of the knowledge that his anger was boiling over to hellish temperatures. His daughter was, however, far less schooled in such matters as her face fired impossibly red with furrowed brows.


“What is she doing?” Pam asked cautiously. “If she’s defecating you get her away from here right now, Eric!” The vampiress’ sensitive nose twitched with horror at the mere thought and she cautiously took a step back.


“No!” Jessica screamed when she saw the small spark ignite from between the pudgy fingers of the infant faeling. Before anyone else took notice, Bill was covered in a deadly light storm to which a delayed Jessica had latched on in protection of her Maker. It had become too much for the young vampire, she couldn’t stand to see him die one more time.


The telling high-pitch tone of Fangtasia’s favourite employee rang out through the wooded cemetery as she took in the sight of the deadly baby incinerating two vampires at the same time. The garment bag and samurai sword fell to the ground as Ginger fainted and tumbled to the ground.


“Good job mini-Pam,” her older supposed-namesake spoke adoringly while petting the giggling baby’s blond hair causing her to completely forget her disappointment for her specialised outfit going unused once more. “Like mother, like daughter.” She cast a curious glance at Niall for the possibility of another repeat performance of the resurrection of Bill but he merely shook his head, much to Pam’s disappointment.


“Not a word of this to Sookie,” Eric warned and without pause they agreed.


Pam cast a glance at the double puddle of goo humming a note of discontent. “Tragic; can we close up this grave once and for all now? You know it’s moments like these I miss being able to urinate.”


Niall instantly perked up dropping his trousers in the process causing Eric to groan again at the impressive sight of what could easily pass as a fire hose, “Allow me, Precious.”




A/N: I’ll fully admit I pulled a True Blood by killing Jessica as I no longer had a use for her, true death seemed the way to go… Bill got quite annoying there, honestly it wasn’t my intention he just brings it out in me. So Eva got the honours instead of Viggo, girl power and all… and yes it’s really wrong to chant a murdering baby but somehow it felt okay… right?


Many thanks to msbuffy for cleaning up after my mistakes again, now if only she’d do the same to my house 😀


Galatea’s Descent Chapter 17 is here.


23 thoughts on “Thanksgiving Fixin’s 26

  1. Girl power go and Niall with his fire-hose 😉 this was a rewarding chapter except that Pam did not get to dress as “The Bride” oh well at least they are dead right forever? Love these chapters.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. *sigh* Niall and his fire hose… the visuals are becoming more disturbing by the week…

      I’m sure Pam will get some use out of that outfit for playtime with Niall *more shivers*… I felt a little bad for Andy and Jason who were wanted to take a rightful stab at Bill too… oh well in another fic I’m sure they’ll get their chance eventually. Glad to hear you’re still liking these, I do wonder how far to stretch these but definitely long enough to witness Pam’s stretch marks 😀

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Yeah girl power! Loved this chapter ! Too bad Jessica died but that’s life right!
    Bill was becoming so annoying when he was talking about Godric being in hell that I wanted to get inside the story to kill him myself!..
    Naill’s fire hose HILARIOUS! I’m still laughing Poor Eric ! He thought he had the Gracious Plenty!..
    .Looking forward for more..Take care and in Holland there is a long weekend coming so stay calm and relax..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jessica got annoying so she had to go… Oh well and Bill’s an eternal asshole so of course he’ll end up back in Hell but Godric has to have gone to heaven or my preferred thought is that Viggo and Eva are reincarnations of Adele and Godric.

      Eric is still the one with the gracious plenty, the word gracious has just been redefined with the new evidence… Poor little Viking.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I’d happily cross the ocean to clean your house if only I could get someone to clean mine… I’ve had that on my Christmas Wish list for years now as well as my birthday & anniversary list, but that cleaning woman never arrives. Damn her! She’s already on her way to being fired! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bill might actually be right on that one, but I’ll shape Pam into a mother somehow. I’m imagining her as one of those extremely frazzled mothers whose children are completely out of control and a father that peers out from behind his newspaper wondering what all the commotion is about…

      Liked by 2 people

  4. love the paring of Niall and Pam , they are awesome together… yes Jessica needed to go but i feel bad for Eric because Bill just made it worse but his nonsense spewed from his lips and Ginger just being Ginger. I am sure Sookie will figure out what Eva did. KY

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bill’s an asshole, unfortunately his talents have always been on the manipulating side so it seemed a natural move on his side to mentally torture Eric when he could and was somewhat successful at it. I think Sookie was right in her perception, Bill was so tortured about himself that he was probably in a hell of his own making. Godric is definitely in a better place because he chose to believe Sookie and her words about a God who forgives.Yes they all seem to forget Sookie is a telepath, so nothing Eva or Viggo do from now on will escape her notice… poor kids…


    1. This was supposed to be mindless fun, which it still sort of is… so I’m glad you’re loving this story despite its early soap operatic tendencies and Niall and Pam’s spaghetti antics 😉


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