Before Sookie could object to the proceedings the hair had already been singed from Spike’s scalp as the foils exploded into the air with a spectacular effect. The formerly platinum blonde vampire looked quite disheartened at the still shockingly green buzz cut.
“Not really wha` I meant, lil` bit,” Spike sighed to Eva and, in that moment, they discovered the complimentary gift Viggo possessed as a small current travelled from his hands causing the hair on Spike’s head to regrow instantly. “Thanks, Vigs,” he said appreciatively with the return of his unruly mop of curls, albeit it still in the horrid shade of green.
Meanwhile his parents sat and stared dumbfounded at the little boy whom they had assumed had been happily sleeping in his bouncer chair throughout all the commotion.
“Quite the set,” Pam noted dryly before turning her attention to the source of magic. “Couldn’t have helped me out before?” she said accusingly to the little boy. “I had to endure a spaghetti wig because of you, sprout!” With her slight outrage Viggo tittered delightedly causing the vampiress to huff petulantly in return, a sound she soon swallowed upon hearing the telling electric crackle running tauntingly through the air from Eva’s direction.
“Right, wha` now, dove?” Spike questioned while distracting Eva and her menace from its next intended victim who definitely would not be pleased to walk down the aisle with a spaghetti wig.
“We don’t have much time,” Pam said with aggravation as she regarded the clock. “Let me change and I’ll whip you up into Peaches 2.0.”
“Pam, no!” Spike pouted while he fingered the limp green hair. A mere warning glance from Pam and her Maker, however, made him see otherwise.
“Cause it’s your wedding, Pammy. Do what you like with me hair,” Pam mocked while reciting his own words from perfect memory with exaggerated air quotes.
“I also distinctly `member sayin` I didn’t want to look like some brooding poof!” Spike exclaimed staring down his cousin.
“I said 2.0,” she countered with her arms folded over her chest.
“I hate you,” he groaned in defeat.
“But you still love me,” she smirked back in sing-song.
“`M, Love’s Bitch alright,” Spike grumbled while he sank into Pam’s dedicated hair dressing chair. “Eva, you best make this right to Uncle Spike tonight. Someone owes me a dance,” he winked.
She giggled momentarily as her little hand slapped at his face. “Oy!” he protested before the little girl launched the entire weight of her heavy head against him to plant a rather wet and sloppy semblance of a kiss to his cheek. “Ah Bit,” he replied with a softened tone that betrayed the surprise of the affection received and returned the gesture.
“She likes you,” Sookie smiled when she and Eric came to take her away for her nap.
“Questionable taste in men already,” Eric sighed while he lifted his daughter from Spike’s grasp. “Breaking Daddy’s heart already.”
“Well, she does take after her mother,” Pam goaded as she reappeared in a pink velour tracksuit with ‘Here comes the Juicy bride’ written out in rhinestones on her ass topped with a little crown. It had been a bridal shower gift from Lafayette and one she initially scrutinised it with disdain until Sookie had made sure she appeared somewhat grateful. Now it had served a great purpose in shocking the world-renowned-designer and his discerning tastes.
“Pam,” Eric warned when Sookie seemed somewhat hurt by that particular jibe.
“She picked you in the end,” Pam shrugged unapologetically. “She’s not irredeemable, I guess.”
“Jus` wait till Pins comes home with her very own brooding bore,” Spike taunted with a wicked gleam to his eyes. “Peaches still has his fan club of adoring angsty lil` girls.”
The vampiress gasped with full aghast at the thought boxing Spike’s ear in reprimand for planting the mere thought in her head. “Ass,” she hissed while he screamed out with the sudden jolt of pain. “I’ll turn her before those pesky hormones come in.”
“Good luck wit` that,” he returned while rubbing at the sore appendage. Pam roughly handled his hair in frustration while her mind became preoccupied with images of her innocent little girl and Angel.
“How is my Pamela?” Niall asked when Sookie and Eric entered the nursery with the twins who had already fallen asleep in their arms.
“The worst of the storm has passed,” Sookie answered before kissing Viggo and Eva as they lay contentedly in their crib. “We discovered Viggo has a gift of his own.”
“Do tell,” her great-grandfather said indulgently as he came to watch over the little boy beside her.
“He can undo the damage inflicted by Eva,” Eric explained.
At that Niall lit up excitedly, “A restorer? We have not had one of those in our line for very long.”
Eric and Sookie nodded politely, both not very concerned by the value of their son’s apparent rare gift; it was the boy they cherished above all. Sookie looked over her shoulder, pleased to note they were feeling the exact same thing through the bond at the same time and mouthed an ‘I love you’.
Before she had the sense to realise it, he had picked her up bridal style causing her to yelp out. “I love you too,” Eric murmured as he nuzzled his nose deeply into her hair and made move to launch her out of the room.
“You will call if anything’s wrong?” Sookie spoke nervously towards Niall and Isolde who amusedly watched Eric unsuccessfully carry Sookie out the door with the first try when her legs collided against the door post.
“Go, get your rest,” Niall encouraged with a knowing wink. “It’s a big night tonight.”
“Eric!” Sookie shrieked when he unceremoniously dropped her on their shared bed.
“Sookie,” he mocked while pawing at obstructive clothing and pecking every bit of uncovered skin he found in his path.
“Stop,” she giggled with the ticklish sensation of it all, which did little to stop Eric in his intent. “Eric, I mean it.”
“Obstinate little faery,” he sighed while hovering above her.
“Your obstinate little faery,” Sookie returned with a taunting pout, a sighting which caused Eric to instantly kiss it away.
“Don’t I know it,” he grinned back as he kissed across the palm of her hand stopping briefly at the bare finger where Pam would soon carry another ring to symbolise that human notion of a shared bond. Unintentionally they stared at her empty hand with the realisation that their bond was buried deep under the skin, one that ignited at a mere touch. It was special and unique to them, something that wasn’t shared with the rest of the world through a band of metal, making it all the more extraordinary in its existence. “Indeed I do,” Eric smiled up at her as seeking fingers trailed over the soft skin of her face. “Let’s make sure you remember that too.”
She smiled back, though her mind was clearly preoccupied with a long list of chores yet to be completed. “There’s still so much to do for the wedding.”
“We hired an army of people for that,” Eric pointed out between tender kisses. “Now let me have my feast.”
“Only because it’s you,” she finally relented betraying her poorly held reluctance.
“Come on,” Pam pleaded. “Just one on the toilet.”
“Get bent,” he growled. “I remember why I hate you so much now. Not only do you make me look like a broodin` fool, now you want photographic evidence too.”
“It can be my wedding present,” Pam tried once more while batting her eyelashes enticingly to encourage him along.
“I already got you somethin`,” Spike replied stubbornly as he stared at the digital image on the screen. Oh, how he loathed the digital age. “Some fancy pasta maker you’ll never see fit to use.”
“Your sticky fingers probably lifted that from somewhere anyhow,” she accused and he sheepishly gave a small shrug that confirmed as much. “Please?”
“One,” he groaned out reluctantly. “Then I’m done with you, Beaufort.”
Pam released an excited squeal, startling everyone including herself with the foreign sound.
“Look more constipated,” she demanded when he had taken his position and failed to deliver the specific look.
“I don` bloody remember, `right! Is been a while since I took a shite,” he hissed back in irritation. “Jus` take the damn shot!”
“Jason,” Pam sing-songed as she kicked him from a low bench from where he sat snoring. “Care to demonstrate?”
“What?” he gasped with the shock of waking so suddenly.
“Show Spike how it’s done,” she demanded but Jason only continued to stare at her dumbfounded. “Compton’s constipated face. Don’t you see the resemblance?”
Jason peered towards Spike sitting on the porcelain throne in the bathroom by craning his neck and could barely contain his amusement at the sighting. On top of painting Spike’s hair the exact same shade as the finally dead Civil War veteran, Pam had straightened the natural curl in his hair so it fell precisely the same.
“He does kinda look like him,” Jason grinned getting up from his position on the floor.
“See somethin` you like?” Spike leered hoping to knock the wind out of his sudden bravado.
“Hottest thing I ever seen, bubba,” Jason winked joining in on Pam’s levity. The small transformation had done wonders for his psyche, now no longer blonde and resembling his least favourite vampire, the power of his taunting tease was lost.
“Slap me on some bloody sideburns and bring me my redheaded childe,” Spike groaned after ascertaining Pam had found herself a partner in crime. “Jus` take tha damn picture already so I can bugger off an` commiserate with my best mates Jack and Daniels.”
“Hold it right there!” Jason exclaimed as Pam eagerly snapped away with her camera when through his sole irritation he had sported the signature ‘Constipated Compton’ look. “Crap of the year that is.”
“More like crap of the century,” Pam grinned when Spike’s face set into an even deeper scowl.
“Pamela?” Eric asked while he softly knocked on her door as her entire bridal party stood nervously wringing the ends of the flower bouquets in their hands. “Pamela, please open the door.”
Eric ran a tired hand through his hair when she refused to answer and it remained firmly silent.
“What happened?” he demanded again from Willa who seemed to be descending into a nervous wreck. Eric noted it really was too bad Pam would most likely only be doing this once; he’d never seen torture victims break this much over such an extended period of time. He did, however, make a mental note to reward her with something when this was all done.
“I don’t know,” she whimpered. “All of sudden she was mad and kicked us all out.”
He pulled Willa in a tender embrace and kissed the crown on her head apologetically. She really had paid for her crime in full and then some. “Pamela,” he spoke more forcefully, the threat evident in his voice. “Open this door or I will.”
“Only you,” a very small voice instructed along with the sound of the lock unlatching.
Eric slipped in carefully keeping the prying eyes out. “Lilla gumman,” he said dotingly as he found another daughter in a crumpled heap. Suddenly Eva and her zappy fingers appeared the least problematic of all his girls. “Everyone is waiting on you.”
“That makes it even worse,” she cried causing the dried-up tear tracks to become wet again with her crimson blood. “Two of the ice sculptures melted, the tiers of the cake are all damaged, one of the unicorns flew away, and-”
“Shhh,” he commanded while stilling her lips with a forefinger to them. Eric felt slightly guilty for all the mishaps that had occurred. It was through his actions after all that Sookie had been confined to their bed and left Willa to oversee her tasks. However, since Sookie floated around like a radiating beauty because of those actions Eric’s guilt was only very slight. “Viggo restored the two ice sculptures and the cake. Yours truly managed to capture the unicorn before coming to fix this little mess,” he teased while clearing her face of tears, careful not to smudge the carefully applied makeup.
“But-” Pam started again.
“No buts,” he admonished knowing everything that had gone or appeared to go wrong had already been rectified. “Everything is perfect as it should be. Now tell me why you are not.”
“I’m supposed to be cold and heartless,” she said with a tremble as tears threatened to spill again.
“And I’m supposed to be the bad ass Sheriff of Area Five,” Eric spoke softly stilling the tears from their intended path. “Now I’m to be a father of five.”
“Sookie’s pregnant again?” she asked in confusion.
“No, according to the human notions, I’m supposed to regard Niall as my own child and call him son once you two are wed,” Eric informed with all seriousness relaying what Sookie had told him that afternoon when he had expressed his insecurity of losing Pam. “I am to see it as not giving you away but gaining a son.”
A smile crept onto her face and Eric couldn’t quite explain the amount of relief he experienced with the sighting. “Good for you,” she spoke with a patronising sneer while patting him on the shoulder. “You can finally claim that Niall got that impressive package from the Northman side.”
“Pamela,” he growled before his tone softened and he planted a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Good to see you back. Ready?”
She bit down on the corner of her lip briefly before staring at herself in the mirror to be certain that she looked as perfect as the rest. A brief nod was exchanged as the room was opened up again and she was hoisted into her dress while Eric waited on his eldest daughter to emerge in all her splendour.
She had foregone any veil, finding them all too superfluous alongside the simplicity of her dress now allowing her a clear view of the lengthy aisle that started from the double sets of doors at the back of the house as she wrapped her arm into Eric’s offered one. In the distance under the specially built gazebo she saw Niall eagerly anticipating her arrival across the virgin snow winter wonderland that had been created in the garden. Had she been paying attention she would have noticed the minor flaws that inevitably occurred but all she could focus on were the eyes of her intended.
“Ready,” she whispered with the wide smile Jason had encouraged her to wear while giving her Maker’s arm a slight squeeze.
 Lilla Gumman: Little old lady – Swedish term of endearment fathers use with their daughters
A/N: I’ll admit most of poor Spike’s fate had to do with this picture when I was looking for a post Pam makeover image:
I had to do a double take and make sure it really was him and not actual Bill! I even made MsBuffy confirm I wasn’t going crazy….
Special thanks to MsBuffy for her continued encouragement and her excellent editing skills on this. Wedding is up next but it will be next week as Thanksgiving will have its own dedicated outtake or two for this verse so look out for that during the holiday. No harming of turkeys on my end though 😉
Galatea’s Descent chapter 19 is here.